Family Guy (TV Series)

Holy Crap (1999)

Seth Green: Chris Griffin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Francis Griffin : I know what you're doing in there, and it's a sin! God watches you do it all the time, you know!

  Chris Griffin : God watches me go #2? Ohh, I'm a sinner and God's a pervert.

• Lois Griffin : That was a lovely service, Francis.

  Meg Griffin : Super. And only three more hours 'till school.

  Chris Griffin : I didn't even know there was a 5:00 a.m. mass. I didn't even know there was a 5:00 a.m. What else haven't you told me?

• Meg Griffin : Mom, I can't eat. I'm too grossed out by grandpa's ears.

  Chris Griffin : I know. They're like a big, gray enchanted forest.

  Lois Griffin : Kids, your grandfather's ears are not gross, and they are certainly not an enchanted forest.

• Stewie Griffin : [reading the Bible]  My, my, what a thumping good read. Lions eating Christians, people nailing each other to 2x4s. I say, you won't find that in Winnie the Pooh.

  Chris Griffin : [groaning]  Please don't say "poo".

• Peter Griffin : Tomorrow night, they're throwing a big dinner and we're all gonna be there to honor him.

  Meg Griffin : Why? We barely know him.

  Chris Griffin : Yeah, how come he never visits us?

  Lois Griffin : Well, kids, your grandfather has never been comfortable with the fact that I'm not Catholic.

  [flashback to Peter and Lois's wedding; a sign on their car reads "Just Married", and taped underneath is another sign reading "To a Protestant whore"]