Family Guy (TV Series)

And the Wiener Is... (2001)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Farnsworth, Kevin Swanson, Mr. Berler, Priest, Scott, Steve Allen, Jock #1

Photos 

Quotes 

• Meg Griffin : [after getting humiliated by Connie]  Mom, you were right! I should have just stuck to the plan.

  Lois Griffin : Well, I figured you might get soft on me, so I hired an old friend to scar them for life.

  [Connie's front doorbell rings] 

  Glen Quagmire : Hey there, sweetie. How old are you?

  Connie D'Amico : Sixteen.

  Glen Quagmire : Eighteen? You're first.

  Connie D'Amico : [calling offscreen]  Mom!

  Glen Quagmire : I like where this is going. Giggidy, giggidy, giggidy.

• Peter Griffin : [driving in his new phallic car when he pulls next to someone]  Hey! Hey, when you pull that thing into your garage, does your garage say, "Is it, is it in yet?"

  [keeps driving, approaches tunnel] 

  Peter Griffin : Don't worry baby. I'll be gentle.

  [after going in and out numerous times, Peter gets hit head-on by a truck, making the car short, and then gets laughed at by supermodels going by on a bus] 

  Peter Griffin : Ow. My pride.

• [Meg is excited about being accepted to the flag girl squad] 

  Stewie Griffin : Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call.

  [Stewie and Brian snicker with suppressed laughter] 

• Lois Griffin : What wrong, honey?

  Peter Griffin : I'll tell you what's wrong: I'm trying to make love to you and you're thinking about Chris!

  Lois Griffin : Peter, is there something you need to tell me?

  Peter Griffin : Thanks to you, our son has a huge wang!

  Lois Griffin : Thanks to me?

  Peter Griffin : Well, he didn't get it from me!

• Stewie Griffin : She packed my bags. Last night preflight. Zero hour 9am

  [inhales cigarette] 

  Stewie Griffin : and I'm gonna be... high... as a kite by then.

  [transparent Stewie clone #1] 

  Stewie Griffin : And I think its gonna be a long time til touch down brings me round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home, Oh No no! I'm a rocket man. Rocket man! Burnin out his fuse out here, Alone!

  [Transparent stewie clone #2 bow tie undone] 

  Stewie Griffin : And I think its gonna be a long time til touch down brings me down again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home, Oh no no no! I'm a rock it man. Rocket man! burnin out his fuse out here. Alone!