Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)
Net Worth (2001)
Ray Romano: Ray Barone
Photos
Quotes
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Ray Barone : Walter's dad owned an amusement park and Scott's an engineer. Not a "whoo-whoo" engineer, one who actually designs stuff.
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Debra Barone : Look, honey, I said that I would hear their proposal and I did, but nothing in it changes the fact that it's go-carts.
Ray Barone : I know, but come on, that's what's fun about it. Plus, it's a solid investment. Besides, they're thinking of naming a go-cart after you. They are. "The Debra." It's black.
Debra Barone : That is every girl's dream.
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Debra Barone : You're a homemaker, like me.
Marie Barone : [Playing along] Okay.
Debra Barone : Don't you think that you're entitled to an equal say in your family's financial decisions?
Marie Barone : Absolutely, dear.
Debra Barone : This is a list I put together to make that point with Ray.
Robert Barone : Look how she puts a line through her sevens. Isn't that nice?
[Marie starts chuckling]
Debra Barone : What?
Marie Barone : Just looking through some of this housekeeping things you claim you do. I think maybe I'm entitled to some of this money.
Ray Barone : Looks like someone's padding the bill.
Debra Barone : Look, Ray, I can't help it if people break in here and clean.
Ray Barone : Yeah, well, the "in here" you're talking about is the house we bought with my paycheck.
Debra Barone : Are you saying you're more valuable than me because you bring home a paycheck?
Ray Barone : I'm not saying that. I think society says that. All right? You should talk to them.
Robert Barone : Actually, Raymond, the best way to determine the value of someone's life is with a wrongful death settlement.
Debra Barone : Oh, good. Good, 'cause we're about to have one.
Robert Barone : No, really, I dated a wrongful death claims adjuster. And it was her job to figure out what a jury would award a family if a loved one were killed an accident. In other words, what they were worth. It was fascinating to see what she had to consider. Too morbid for a second date, but fascinating.
Ray Barone : What? Like what?
Robert Barone : Like they consider what kind of person you were. Take Dad, for example. Let's say someone dropped a piano on him.
Marie Barone : [Playing along as before] Okay.
Robert Barone : A jury would be asked to consider what kind of life he led. Was he a happy person? Did he bring joy to others? Did he stop and smell the roses?
Frank Barone : Yes, yes and yes.
Marie Barone : You don't enjoy life! You spend three hours every afternoon locked in the bathroom.
Frank Barone : Hiding from you, that's how I enjoy life!
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Debra Barone : So you gave Scott and Walter money after I asked you not to?
Ray Barone : No, I gave it to 'em before you asked me not to.
Debra Barone : How could you do that?
Ray Barone : I'm sorry, I'll get the money back.
Debra Barone : It's not about the money!
Ray Barone : Then I really don't understand the hateful screaming.
Debra Barone : You really have so little respect for me, that you would do that without asking me?
Ray Barone : I respect you.
Debra Barone : Obviously not! You wrote the check before you even talked to me about it!
Ray Barone : Because I thought you would say yes!
Debra Barone : Well, I'm saying no!
Ray Barone : Okay, you changed your mind!
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Marie Barone : Tell one of your jokes, dear.
Ray Barone : What? Which one?
Ray Barone : Tell the one about the guy who goes into a bar, and there's a dish of peanuts that says nice things to him. And he asks the bartender "What's with these peanuts?" And the bartender says "They're complimentary." Tell that one, dear.
Ray Barone : You... you just told it, Ma.
Marie Barone : No, no. You tell it so funny.
Ray Barone : You just told the ending, Ma.
Marie Barone : Well, tell the beginning.