Even Stevens (TV Series)

A Weak First Week (2001)

Christy Carlson Romano: Ren Stevens

Quotes 

• Ren Stevens : Oh, great! See what you did? Now we're stuck!

  Louis Stevens : We're not stuck.

  Speaker : Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to inform you, but you're stuck!

• Ren Stevens : How long are we gonna be up here?

  Louis Stevens : Relax, enjoy the view, Ren. I mean, we've got cotton candy, we've got soda...

  [a bird flies over them and takes the candy] 

  Louis Stevens : We've got soda.

• Ren Stevens : [at the last minute, Louis changes the TelePrompTer script for Ren's election speech]  It was Sir Francis Bacon who said that knowledge is the ultimate power, but Bacon never experienced the power of Larry Beale's body odor.

  [the audience laughs, and Ren pauses, realizing that something is wrong, but it's too late] 

  Tawny Dean : Keep reading.

  Ren Stevens : [laughs nervously]  It's true! In fact, last week a realtor told Larry's parents that his b.o. was so bad it was affecting the resale value of their house.

  [the audience laughs again] 

  Ren Stevens : But it's really not my style to personally attack my opponent, so if you'll turn your attention to the easel at my right, I'd like to talk about the cafeteria food, and the ill affects of poor nutrition.

  [shows a picture of a sumo wrestler with Larry Beale's head. Everybody laughs, even the principal] 

  Ren Stevens : Larry Beale's G.P.A. has been dropping, well, since the third grade!

  [Louis and Tawny laugh loudly from backstage, as does the audience in the front] 

  Ren Stevens : Question: do I want an irresponsible student policy monitor? I didn't think so!

  [the audience claps ecstatically] 

• Ren Stevens : Junior High was great until you got there; now it's a nightmare.

  Louis Stevens : [annoyed]  Oh yeah? Well, being your brother is about as much fun as sucking spaghetti through your nose. Sure, you can do it, but when that meatball gets lodged...