- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: [on CB] Now Enos, this is your superior officer, Rosco. Now listen, if Jesse and Daisy, eh, try to keep us from catching Bo 'n Luke, we will use the figure eight manoeuvres that I taught ya. Come back?
- Enos: Sheriff, couldn't we just drive up beside 'em and just say hey? Huh?
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: Enos, you might say 'Hey' to them, but you'll say goodbye to your salary.
- [grinds teeth and spasms]
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: You dipstick.
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: You know something, Flash? You know somebody played a dirty trick on your daddy. There was no naked lady in distress back there, when I... eeh. I saw... well, it was... You know, Flash, they say when a man gets my age, his eyesight's the second thing to go...
- Cooter: What brings you out at the crack 'o dawn, Boss?
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: I'll tell ya what brings him out: he knows you're an early bird and him being a worm, he plans on catchin' ya.
- Boss Hogg: What? Rosco, what you...
- Sheriff Rosco Coltrane: I think I said that backwards.
- Boss Hogg: Of course you did, you've always been backwards.
- Cooter: I ain't never gonna be able to lift open a car hood again without seein' his face or... hearin' what that little girl said back in there. Y'all, I'm gonna sell the garage, and, and... leave Hazzard and just... go up in the hills... and think about all this here.
- Vance Duke: The keys of General Lee.
- Luke Duke: Thanks. Kinds like the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.
- The Balladeer: [narrating] Now, Cooter, feelin' lower than a snake's shadow was headed for the hills to become a recluse. He figured that that was one job he couldn't mess up. Now Jesse was determined to find old Cooter and bring him back. Even if he had to hog-tie him. Old Jesse had his work cut out for 'm.