Due South (TV Series)

Diefenbaker's Day Off (1994)

Paul Gross: Constable Benton Fraser

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Howard : Constable Fraser. I hear you're quite the Good Samaritan. I didn't know we had any left in this town.

  Constable Benton Fraser : Well I'm sure any one of his neighbors would have done the same.

  Dr. Howard : [gives a skeptical look]  Yeah. Well, Mr. Pike has suffered considerable soft tissue damage, but none of his injuries are life-threatening.

  Constable Benton Fraser : Thank you. Oh excuse me, Dr. Howard. Is there any medical reason why Charlie might be prone to these accidents? Perhaps an inner ear imbalance resulting from an old boxing injury?

  Dr. Howard : How did you know Charlie was a boxer?

  Constable Benton Fraser : Well, his nose cartilage has been reduced by almost 80%, and his left eye socket is raised about a half a centimeter above the right, indicating a slight shift in the cranial plates.

  Dr. Howard : Where did you study?

  Constable Benton Fraser : The Inuvik Public Library. My grandparents were librarians.

  Dr. Howard : You're kidding?

  Constable Benton Fraser : No.

• Constable Benton Fraser : [Ray blows through an intersection, ignoring a stop sign]  That was a stop sign, Ray.

  [Ray speeds through another stop sign] 

  Constable Benton Fraser : That was another stop sign, Ray.

• Constable Benton Fraser : [after Ray presents Dief's new "wolf license"]  You got it. I only asked you once, and you got it.

  Ray Vecchio : Of course I got it. You asked me for it, right?

  Constable Benton Fraser : From the mayor himself?

  Ray Vecchio : Well, no. See, I didn't want to bother him, so what I did was, I Xeroxed a dog license and I put in 'wolf'. Wonderful things, photocopiers, huh?

• Ray Vecchio : Okay, so how do you know the guy who paid Charlie's a fighter?

  Constable Benton Fraser : His wrists. They were completely hairless, indicating he wears gloves that are tied tightly and in constant use.

  Ray Vecchio : So we're tracking a guy with hairless wrists.

  Constable Benton Fraser : Also, the second knuckle of each hand was slightly lower than the others. His jaw cricked slightly when he spoke, indicating a fractured mandible. And his eyes were shifted downward unilaterally in their sockets, caused no doubt by repeated blows to the zygomatic arch.

  Ray Vecchio : Okay, that I'll buy. But how do you know he worked out at this gym?

  Constable Benton Fraser : It was written on his T-shirt.

  Ray Vecchio : [popping off]  You couldn't have said that in the first place? You had to go through the hairless wrists and the fractured mandibles?

  Constable Benton Fraser : Sorry, Ray.

  Ray Vecchio : Oh, man!

• Ray Vecchio : Now tell me everything you know.

  Constable Benton Fraser : And you won't use it against the man in question?

  Ray Vecchio : On my word as a transvestite.

  Constable Benton Fraser : What's that, Ray?

  Ray Vecchio : It's a Chicago thing.

  Constable Benton Fraser : Ahh.

• Constable Benton Fraser : [to Diefenbaker]  I brought you supper. Oh you know, I was hoping to, uh, be able to spend some time with you this evening, but I, uh, have a dinner engagement with a very nice woman that I meet in a parking lot. And I can't cancel it because I don't know her phone number - or her name for that matter.

  [Dief whines] 

  Constable Benton Fraser : No, it's not what you're thinking. It isn't. And you know something?

  [Dief whines again as Fraser gets nervous about the thought of a date] 

  Constable Benton Fraser : I-I-I don't appreciate your attitude. Y-y-y-you're very judgmental. Just because you were right once does not make you infallible. I am perfectly capable of handling myself in any situation. I am- I am a Mountie.

• Mackenzie King : How much do you make?

  Constable Benton Fraser : Me? Well it's in Canadian funds, so you have to deduct 38% , but, uh...

  Mackenzie King : Enough.

  Constable Benton Fraser : About myself. Absolutely. Consulate work is pretty dull. Although there was this one passport case...

  Mackenzie King : Wait a minute. You work at the consulate?

  Constable Benton Fraser : Well, yes. That's why I'm paid in Canadian funds. It's some- it's and odd governmental regulation.

  Mackenzie King : So now you're denying you work with Charlie?

  Constable Benton Fraser : With Charlie? No, no. I could never be a professional boxer. I mean, in high school I...

  Mackenzie King : I saw you bring him in. Are you telling me you don't feed patients to the clinic. You're not involved in this million dollar insurance scam? You're just this straight-arrow, do-gooding Mountie out to help the little guy? Tell me why I find that hard to believe.

  Constable Benton Fraser : Well, I understand your skepticism. Appearances can be deceiving. I mean, for example, you're a nurse, yet you wear extremely high heels to work, which indicates either you haven't been a nurse for very long, or you have remarkable arches. Also, the way you hold your wrists suggests you spend many hours at a computer keyboard. And add to that, the slight crick in your neck, which indicates extended phone usage, and the minute traces of printer's ink under your three-quarter-inch nails, which by the way, must make bandaging quite a challenge and a less trusting person might assume that you weren't a nurse at all. A less trusting person might assume that you work, say, for a newspaper but then appearances can be deceiving.

  Mackenzie King : And you've known this since...?

  Constable Benton Fraser : The parking lot. Also, you should check you tape recorders. I think either your battery is leaking or some liquid has spilled into the motor. From the smell of it, I would say...

  [sniffs] 

  Constable Benton Fraser : mace.