"Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man" Gripes of Wrath (TV Episode 1994) - Gregg Berger as Cornfed Pig

Cornfed Pig : Easy, Duckman. I know over two hundred ways to kill a man.

Sherry : You could glue an open jar of rats to his face. Then blowtorch the other side of the jar, so the rats have to eat their way out through his face.

Cornfed Pig : [pause] Two Hundred and one.
Duckman : Shut up, both of you! I'm sick of looking at you.

Bernice : You're not sick of looking at Sherry. You spent the last six days watching that videotape where she learns what all her vacuum attachments are for.

Sherry : [sternly] You said you erased that!

Cornfed Pig : Erased, ran off thousands of copies. It's such a fine line.
Duckman : [upon first seeing the utopia that Loretta created] Homina-homina-how-wa!

Cornfed Pig : Either you're babbling, or you just told me in Cherokee that my scrotum is many-colored.
Duckman : [when Cornfed is being fondled by Sherry] How did you...? How did you...?

Cornfed Pig : Attract a woman of such pulchritude and allure?

Duckman : I was gonna say "hook that piece of sweet meat," but have it your way.

Cornfed Pig : Loretta realized that the average man wastes 78% of their waking hours thinking about sex. So, she matched up horny men with nymphomaniacs. And, well, you can guess the rest.

Duckman : I don't want to guess. Tell it to me in detail. Slowly.

Cornfed Pig : Duckman, get a grip on yourself.

[pause]

Cornfed Pig : Let me rephrase that.

Gregg Berger: Cornfed Pig