Drop the Dead Donkey (TV Series)

Xmas Party (1991)

Haydn Gwynne: Alex Pates

Photos 

Quotes 

• Damien Day : [loudly]  Hello everyone. What a lovely morning it is. I hope nobody's got a HANGOVER. Personally I feel terrific.

  Henry Davenport : Who did Dante put in the first circle of Hell beneath the atheists? The smug bastards, wasn't it?

  Alex Pates : Henry, you know the office rules, no fourteenth-century literary allusion before lunchtime.

• Dave Charnley : Alex, can we talk? We're gonna have to work together.

  Alex Pates : Listen Dave, we are mature professionals, and as such we should be perfectly capable of handling these minor emotional upsets. Right?

  Dave Charnley : Right.

  Alex Pates : By the way, I've slashed your car tyres.

• George Dent : I just want a quick chat about an intimate and delicate matter.

  Alex Pates : About me sleeping with Dave?

  George Dent : It does seem to have caused a certain amount of disruption.

  Alex Pates : Well, obviously I bow to the judgment of a man who got appallingly drunk at the office party, ransacked a wine bar, fell asleep in a lamb pasanda, returned to the office, photocopied his arse, threw up in his boss's filing cabinet, and then mugged a 10-year-old and attempted to ride his BMX bike to the railway station!

• Gus Hedges : Can we have a brief, to the point, on-the-ball conversation?

  Alex Pates : Doubt it.