- Minister: I've been having chats with some of the other editors and they all shared my view that we shouldn't poison the airwaves with this sort of tittle-tattle.
- Gus Hedges: Oh, certainly. I'm a committed anti-tittle-tattle person. And Globelink would never touch any unsubstantiated tapes of two people having sex in a flat in a Pimlico flat. Besides, the whole office agreed it doesn't sound anything like you!
- Gus Hedges: Hello Neil. How are you? Good to see you. Hard luck - I voted for you mate! We must have lunch some time.
- Neil Kinnock: [walking away] Sure, yeah. I'd rather have smallpox.
- Helen Cooper: Dave, for the last time, there are three very good reasons why you and I are not fated to be lovers. 1: We work together. 2: We're emotionally incompatible. 3: I'm a lesbian.
- Dave Charnley: Oh, you're just *looking* for obstacles now!
- Damien Day: Just ignore all those people who are putting your award down to tokenism. I'm sure the fact that you're a telegenic girlie never entered the judge's heads!
- Lynn Yates: Right, just as I'm sure the judges ignored those rumours about you sellotaping a cheese sandwich to the camera, so you could get that starving refugee shot in Somalia.
- Damien Day: [watches his rival Lynn Yates go up to accept her award] Please god let the cow fall down the stairs and break her neck!
- George Dent: What do you think we should do about this rise in road tax?
- Damien Day: It's outrageous. It'll hit the poorer people.
- George Dent: Well I wouldn't have thought you'd have been concerned!
- Damien Day: Of course I am. What is the point of having a flash car like a Porsche if you can't zoom past the cheaper ones looking cool?
- Minister: Gus... how are you, you old son of a gun?
- Gus Hedges: Oh I'm A1 200%, all systems go and ace, terriff and brill!