- Scottie: [after the band gets arrested for presenting fake tickets to a concert] Guys, the tickets are not fake.
- Drake Parker: Are you sure?
- Scottie: I photocopied 'em myself.
- [the rest are silent]
- Scottie: What?
- Drake Parker: You can't photocopy tickets.
- Scottie: Yes, ya ca-an. You just put 'em on the glass and close the liddy thing and press copy. Any moron can do it.
- Drake Parker: No, not just any moron. It takes a special moron, like you!
- Grammy: Drake, be a lamb and carry my suitcase up to Megan's room.
- Josh Nichols: [to Drake] Be... "a lamb."
- Grammy: And unpack it when you get upstairs. You can organize my thongs by color.
- Grammy: [angrily to Drake] Well, a responsible young man doesn't give into peer pressure so easily!
- Josh Nichols: I always tell him that!
- Josh Nichols: [turning to Drake] No need to glare.
- Drake Parker: [looking forward to] An entire weekend all to ourselves.
- Josh Nichols: No mom, no dad.
- Drake Parker: Fifty-seven hours of total freedom.
- Josh Nichols: Without The Man to keep us down.
- Drake Parker: How great is this gonna be?
- Josh Nichols: We can stay up late.
- Drake Parker: Yeah, we can.
- Josh Nichols: We can order pizza whenever we want!
- Drake Parker: Yeah, we can.
- Josh Nichols: We can walk around in our underwear!
- Drake Parker: [disgusted] No, we can't.