- Mickey Smith: I bet you don't even remember my name.
- The Doctor: Ricky.
- Mickey Smith: It's Mickey.
- The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.
- Mickey Smith: I think I know my own name.
- The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?
- The Doctor: [to Rose] It's not twelve hours, it's twelve months. You've been gone a whole year. Sorry.
- [first lines]
- [the TARDIS materializes on the Powell Estate, and the Doctor and Rose step out]
- Rose Tyler: How long have I been gone?
- The Doctor: Twelve hours.
- [They both laugh]
- Rose Tyler: Oooh! Right, I won't be long, I'm just gonna see my mum.
- The Doctor: What're you going to tell her?
- Rose Tyler: I don't know! I've been to the year 5 billion... and only been gone, what, 12 hours?
- [the Doctor gives something between a laugh and a snort]
- Rose Tyler: No, I'll just tell her I've spent the night at Shareen's. See you later!
- [walks off, and then turns back]
- Rose Tyler: Oh - don't you disappear.
- [She runs inside]
- Rose Tyler: [the Doctor catches a glimpse of a poster on a telephone pole. He looks closer, and notices that it is a Missing Persons notice - for Rose. It says that "Rose Tyler has been missing from her home on the Powell Estate since 6 March 2005. Rose is described as 5'4", slim build, with shoulder-length blonde hair." Upstairs, Rose enters her flat]
- Rose Tyler: I'm back! It was Shareen. She was all upset again. Are you in?
- [Jackie walks out of the kitchen with a cup of tea]
- Rose Tyler: So, what's been going on? How've you been?
- [Jackie looks like she's just seen a ghost]
- Rose Tyler: What? What's that face for? It's not the first time I've stayed out all night.
- [Outside, the Doctor gets the gist of the poster, that they have landed one year ahead of when they intended to land, and runs inside]
- Jackie Tyler: It's you.
- Rose Tyler: Of course it's me!
- Jackie Tyler: [shaken, and teary] Oh, my God. It's you. Oh my God.
- [She throws her arms around Rose, who is rather alarmed. Rose looks over her mother's shoulder and sees more variants of the Missing Persons notice that the Doctor has just seen, including, for instance, "It has been more than six months since Rose Tyler went missing from her home."]
- The Doctor: [suddenly bursts into the apartment] It's not 12 hours, it's er... 12 months. You've been gone a whole year.
- [He laughs apologetically while Rose and Jackie both look at him, stunned]
- The Doctor: Sorry.
- The Doctor: [after the spaceship crashes] It's blocked off.
- Rose Tyler: We're miles from the center. The city must be gridlocked. The whole of London must be closing down.
- The Doctor: I know. I can't believe I'm here to see this! This is fantastic!
- Rose Tyler: Did you know this was gonna happen?
- The Doctor: Nope.
- Rose Tyler: Do you recognize the ship?
- The Doctor: Nope.
- Rose Tyler: Do you know why it crashed?
- The Doctor: Nope.
- Rose Tyler: Oh, I'm so glad I've got you.
- The Doctor: I bet you are. This is what I travel for, Rose, to see history happening right in front of us.
- Rose Tyler: Well, let's go and see it. Never mind the traffic, we've got the TARDIS.
- The Doctor: Um, better not. They've already got one spaceship in the middle of London. I don't wanna shove another one on top.
- Rose Tyler: Yeah, but yours looks like a big blue box. No one's gonna notice.
- The Doctor: Oh, you'd be surprised. Emergency like this, there'll be all kinds of people watching. Trust me, the TARDIS stays where it is.
- Rose Tyler: So, history is happening and we're stuck here?
- The Doctor: Yes, we are.
- Rose Tyler: We could always do what everybody else does.
- [the Doctor looks at her, confused]
- Rose Tyler: We could watch it on TV.
- Dr. Sato: [Dr. Sato and The Doctor are examining the pig-alien] I just assumed that's what aliens looked like. But you're saying it's an ordinary pig. From Earth.
- The Doctor: More like a mermaid. Victorian showman used to draw the crowds by taking the skull of a cat, gluing it to a fish and calling it a mermaid. Now, someone's taken a pig, opened up its brain, stuck bits on and they've strapped it in that ship, made it dive-bomb. It must have been terrified. They've taken this animal and turned it into a joke.
- Dr. Sato: So, it's a fake. A pretend, like the mermaid. But the technology augmenting its brain... it's like nothing on Earth. It's alien. Aliens are faking aliens. Why would they do that? Doctor?
- [Dr. Sato turns round and the Doctor has disappeared]
- Rose Tyler: Right - there's a spaceship on the Thames and you're just 'wandering'.
- The Doctor: Nothing to do with me! It's not an invasion! That was a genuine crash landing. Angle of descent, colour of smoke, everything! It's perfect!
- Rose Tyler: So...
- The Doctor: So maybe this is it! First contact! The day mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race. I'm not interfering because you've got to handle this on your own. That's when the human race finally grows up. Just this morning you were all tiny and small and made of clay! Now you can expand!
- Rose Tyler: She slapped you!
- The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
- Rose Tyler: Your face!
- The Doctor: It hurt!
- Rose Tyler: You're so gay. When you say nine hundred years...
- The Doctor: That's my age.
- Rose Tyler: You're nine hundred years old?
- The Doctor: Yep.
- Rose Tyler: My mum was right. That is one hell of an age gap.
- [jumps down off the wall]
- Rose Tyler: Every conversation with you just goes mental. And there's no-one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things... and I'm the only person on planet Earth that knows they exist.
- [At that moment, a large spaceship flies overhead, crashing into Big Ben and landing in the Thames]
- Rose Tyler: Oh, that's just not fair!
- [the Doctor laughs]
- Mickey Smith: [the Doctor flips through TV channels on the TARDIS view screen] How many channels you get?
- The Doctor: All the basic packages.
- Mickey Smith: You get sports channel?
- The Doctor: [rolling his eyes] Yes, I get the football.
- The Doctor: Hold on, I know that lot.
- [see group of people walking with commentator in the background]
- The Doctor: UNIT. United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. Good people.
- Rose Tyler: How'd you know 'em?
- Mickey Smith: 'Cause he's worked for them. Oh yeah, don't think I sat on my backside for twelve months, Doctor. I read up on you. You look deep enough on the Internet, or in the history books, and there's his name... followed by a list of the dead.
- The Doctor: That's nice. Good boy, Ricky.
- Rose Tyler: And where do you think you're going?
- The Doctor: Nowhere. It's, uh, just a bit human in there for me. History just happened; they're talking about where you can buy dodgey top-up cards for half price. I'm off on a wonder, that's all.
- BBC Newsreader: reports say that the body is of extraterrestrial origin. An extraordinary event unfolding here live here in Central London. The body is being transferred to a secure unit mortuary. The whereabouts is yet unknown. Roads in Central London...
- [the screen suddenly changes to a Blue Peter program]
- Matt Baker: And when you've stuck your things on, you can cover the whole lot...
- [cuts back to the flat, where the Doctor is wrestling the remote from a toddler]
- Matt Baker: ... Ooo, look at that. Then, ice it, any colour you want - here's one I made a little bit earlier - and look at that. Your very own spaceship ready to eat. And there's something a little extra special...
- [the Doctor changes the channel back to the news program]
- BBC Newsreader: ...Albion Hospital.
- Reporter Tom Hitchingson: We still don't know whether it's alive or dead. Whitehall is denying everything. But the body has been brought here, Albion Hospital. The road's closed off - it's the closest to the river.
- [the Doctor shoos away the toddler on his lap]
- Reporter Tom Hitchingson: I'm being told that's General Asquith now entering the hospital.
- [a police car passes by]
- Reporter Tom Hitchingson: But the building has been evacuated. The patients have been moved out onto the streets. The police still won't confirm the presence of an alien body contained inside those walls...
- Mickey Smith: So, what're you doing down there?
- The Doctor: [muffled, due to the sonic screwdriver he's holding between his teeth] Rickey.
- Mickey Smith: Mickey.
- The Doctor: [the Doctor takes the sonic screwdriver out of his mouth to make himself clearer] Rickey, If I was to tell you what I was doing to the controls of my frankly magnificent time ship, would you even begin to understand?
- Mickey Smith: Well, I suppose not...
- The Doctor: Well, shut it, then.
- The Doctor: Excuse me, do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world?
- Joseph Green: Would you rather silent but deadly?
- Woman at Party: [as the Doctor is leaving] Oi, gorgeous! Come back and join the party!
- Jackie Tyler: [lashing out at Rose] The hours I've sat here, days and weeks and months, all on my own! I thought you were dead! And where were you *travelling*? What the hell does that mean, "travelling"? That's no sort of answer!
- [to the Policeman]
- Jackie Tyler: You ask her. She won't tell me. That's all she says: "travelling."
- Rose Tyler: That's what I was doing.
- Jackie Tyler: But your passport's still in the drawer! It's just one lie after another!
- Rose Tyler: I meant to phone. I really did, I just... I forgot.
- Jackie Tyler: What, for a year? You forgot for *a year*? And I am left sitting here. I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've been?
- The Doctor: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.
- Policeman: When you say "companion," is this a sexual relationship?
- Rose Tyler, The Doctor: [they look at each other, and then they simultaneously say] No!
- Jackie Tyler: [getting in the Doctor's face, rather threateningly] Then what is it? Because *you*, you waltz in here all charm and smiles, and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you then? 40? 45? What, did you find her on the Internet? Did you go online and pretend you're *a doctor*?
- The Doctor: I *am* a doctor!
- Jackie Tyler: Prove it! Stitch this, mate!
- [slaps him hard across the face. The Doctor groans loudly, and Rose merely rolls her eyes]
- Jackie Tyler: Did you think about me at all?
- Rose Tyler: I did! All the time! But...
- Jackie Tyler: One phone call. Just to know that you were alive!
- Rose Tyler: I'm sorry. I really am.
- Jackie Tyler: Do you know what terrifies me, is that you still can't say. What happened to you, Rose? What could be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart? Where were you?
- Rose Tyler: So, in twelve months, have you been seeing anyone else?
- Mickey Smith: No.
- Rose Tyler: Okay.
- Mickey Smith: Mainly because everyone thinks I murdered you.
- Rose Tyler: Right.
- Mickey Smith: So now that you've come back, are you gonna stay?
- Rose Tyler: Promise you won't disappear?
- The Doctor: I'll tell you what. TARDIS key.
- [hands her the key]
- The Doctor: It's about time you had one. See you later.
- Rose Tyler: My mum's here.
- The Doctor: Oh, that's just what I need. Don't you dare make this place domestic
- Mickey Smith: You ruined my life, Doctor. They thought she was dead. I was a murder suspect because of you.
- The Doctor: You see what I mean? Domestic!
- Mickey Smith: You disappear. Who do they turn to? Your boyfriend. Five times I was taken in for questioning. Five times. No evidence, No, there couldn't be, could there? And then I get her! Your mother. Whispering around the estate, pointing her finger, stuff through my letterbox. And all because of you.
- Jackie Tyler: [on the phone] Yes. I've seen one. I really have... An alien... And she's with him. My daughter, she's with him. And she's not safe. Oh my God, she's not safe.
- [information is typed into a computer]
- Jackie Tyler: [pauses]
- Jackie Tyler: I've seen an alien and I know his name. He's called The Doctor... It's a box. A blue box... She called it a TARDIS.
- [At 10 Downing Street, Indra Ganesh receives an automated alert]
- Joseph Green: Thank you all for wearing your ID cards!
- [pause]
- Joseph Green: They'll help to identify the bodies!
- [presses a switch that electrocutes everyone in the room]
- Rose Tyler: This is a bit posh. If I knew it was gonna be like this, being arrested, I woulda done it years ago.
- The Doctor: We're not being arrested. We're being escorted.
- Rose Tyler: Where to?
- The Doctor: Where do you think? Downing Street.
- [laughs]
- Rose Tyler: You're kidding.
- The Doctor: I'm not.
- Rose Tyler: Ten Downing Street?
- The Doctor: That's the one.
- Rose Tyler: Oh my God, I'm going to Ten Downing Street. How come?
- The Doctor: I hate to say it, but Mickey was right. Over the years I've been to this planet a lot of times, and I've been noticed.
- Rose Tyler: And now they need you?
- The Doctor: Like they said on the news. They're gathering experts on alien knowledge. And who's the biggest expert of the lot?
- Rose Tyler: Patrick Moore?
- The Doctor: Apart from him.
- Rose Tyler: Oh, don't you just love it?
- General Asquith: I'll put this country under martial law if I have to.
- Joseph Green: Ohh, I'm so scared! That's hair-raising, I mean, literally. Look!
- ["unzips" the top of his forehead, underneath which there is a very bright blue light. Asquith looks and sees Oliver Charles and Margaret Blaine doing the same thing]
- Rose Tyler: And where do you think you're going?
- The Doctor: Nowhere. It's, uh, just a bit human in there for me. History just happened and they're talking about where you can buy dodgy top-up cards for half price. I'm off on a wander, that's all.
- Rose Tyler: Right. There's a spaceship on the Thames and you're just wandering.
- The Doctor: Nothing to do with me. It's not an invasion. That was a genuine crash landing. Angle of descent, colour of the smoke, everything. It was perfect.
- Rose Tyler: So?
- The Doctor: So maybe this is it. First contact. The day Mankind officially comes into contact with an alien race. I'm not interfering 'cause you got to handle this on your own. That's when the human race finally grows up. Just this morning you were all tiny and small and made of clay. Now you can expand.
- General Asquith: I've got the White House phoning me direct because Downing Street won't answer their calls! This is outrageous! We haven't even started the vaccination prota. This is appalling. The nations of the world are watching the United Kingdom!
- Joseph Green: Well it has all been a bit of a shock.
- General Asquith: This is the greatest crisis in modern history and you've done nothing! Your behavior has been shameful, sir. You're supposed to be in charge, we need positive leadership. The capital's ground to a halt. Furthermore we can only assume that the Prime Minister's disappearance is the direct result of hostile alien action, and what have you been doing? Nothing!
- Joseph Green: Sorry, sorry! Uh, I thought I was Prime Minister now.
- General Asquith: Only by default.
- Joseph Green: Ah, that's not fair. I've been having such fun!
- General Asquith: You think this is fun?
- Joseph Green: It's a hoax, this thing!
- Margaret Blaine: [cracking up] It is, honestly! It is super!
- Oliver Charles: [breaks wind] Ooh! Excuse me!
- [He, Blaine and Green all start breaking wind rather loudly, laughing hysterically as they do so]
- General Asquith: What's going on? Where are the rest of the Cabinet? Why haven't they been airlifted in?
- Joseph Green: I cancelled it. They'd only get in the way.
- [farts]
- Joseph Green: There I go!
- [continues to break wind while laughing hysterically]
- Margaret Blaine: Oh, and me! I'm shaking my booty.
- [She proceeds to continue to also laugh hysterically while breaking wind]
- General Asquith: Sir! Under Section 5 of the Emergency Protocols, it is my duty to relieve you of command! And by God, I'll put this country under martial law if I have to.
- Joseph Green: Oh! I'm scared!
- [starts walking over to Asquith]
- Joseph Green: I mean, that's *hair-raising*, I mean, *literally*! Look!
- [lifts his hand and unzips the top of his forehead. Asquith looks at Oliver Charles and Margaret Blaine and sees them doing the same thing. In their true alien forms, they advance on the startled general. Harriet Jones cowers in the closet as the aliens murder General Asquith]
- [the Slitheen have killed General Asquith, and the one posing as Oliver Charles has taken over his skin]
- General Asquith: What do you think? How's the compression? I think I've got too much ballast around the middle.
- [farts]
- General Asquith: Oh, that's better.
- Margaret Blaine: We've really got to fix the gas exchange. It's getting ridiculous.
- Joseph Green: I don't know, it seems very human to me. Uh, better get rid of his skin.
- General Asquith: [picks up Oliver's skin and walks over to the closet, and visibly not too happy at his new disguise] A shame. I quite enjoyed being Oliver! He had a wife, a mistress and a young farmer.
- [He throws Oliver's skin into the closet, where Harriet Jones picks it up and examines it]
- General Asquith: God, I was busy! Back to work, I've got an army to command!
- Margaret Blaine: Careful now.
- Reporter Tom Hitchingson: [on the TV from outside 10 Downing Street] Mystery still surrounds the whereabouts of the prime minister. He's not been seen since the emergency began. The opposition are criticising his lack of leadership and... Hold on.
- [a person arrives in a limo]
- Reporter Tom Hitchingson: Oh, that's Joseph Green, MP for Hartley Dale. He's chairman of the parliamentary commission on the monitoring of sugar standards in exported confectionery, with respect hardly the most important person right now.
- Strickland: You see, this man is classified as trouble. Which means that anyone associated with him is trouble. And that's my job.
- [takes off his hat, revealing the zipper on his forehead]
- Strickland: Eliminating trouble.
- [He proceeds to unzip his forehead, filling the room with a lot of blue light, as he prepares to "eliminate" the trouble in the room]
- Rose Tyler: I can't tell her, I can't even begin. She's never gonna forgive me. And I missed a year. Was it good?
- The Doctor: Middling.
- Rose Tyler: You're so useless.
- Jackie Tyler: The hours I've sat here, days and weeks and months, all on my own! I thought you were dead! And where were you travelling? What the hell does that mean, "travelling"? That's no sort of answer!
- [to the police inspector in the apartment]
- Jackie Tyler: You ask her. She won't tell me. That's all she says: "traveling".
- Rose Tyler: That's what I was doing.
- Jackie Tyler: But your passport's still in the drawer! It's just one lie after another!
- Rose Tyler: I meant to phone. I really did, I just... I forgot.
- Jackie Tyler: What, for a *year*? You forgot for a year? And I am left sitting here? I just don't believe you! Why won't you tell me where you've *been*?
- The Doctor: Actually, it's my fault. I sort of, uh, employed Rose as my companion.
- Policeman: When you say companion, is this a sexual relationship?
- The Doctor, Rose Tyler: [look at each other, and then say] No!
- Jackie Tyler: [getting in the Doctor's face] Then what is it? Because *you*, you waltz in here all charm and smiles, and the next thing I know she vanishes off the face of the earth! How old are you then? 40? 45? What, did you find her on the Internet? Did you go online and pretend you're a doctor?
- The Doctor: I am a doctor!
- Jackie Tyler: Prove it! Stitch this, mate!
- [slaps him very hard across the face]
- Jackie Tyler: [Later, as Jackie embraces Rose]
- Jackie Tyler: Did you think about me at all?
- Rose Tyler: I did! All the time! But...
- Jackie Tyler: One phone call. Just to know that you were alive!
- Rose Tyler: I'm sorry. I really am.
- Jackie Tyler: Do you know what terrifies me, is that you still can't say. What happened to you, Rose? What could be so bad that you can't tell me, sweetheart? Where were you?
- Rose Tyler: I can't tell her. I can't even begin... she's never gonna forgive me. And I missed a year? Was it good?
- The Doctor: Middling.
- Rose Tyler: You're so useless.
- The Doctor: Well, if it's this much trouble, are you gonna stay here now?
- Rose Tyler: I dunno. I can't do that to her again, though.
- The Doctor: Well, she's not coming with us.
- [Rose bursts out laughing, as does the Doctor]
- Rose Tyler: No chance.
- The Doctor: I don't do families.
- Rose Tyler: She slapped you!
- The Doctor: Nine hundred years of time and space, and I've never been slapped by someone's mother.
- Rose Tyler: Your face...
- The Doctor: It hurt!
- Rose Tyler: You're so gay!
- [pause]
- Rose Tyler: When you say 900 years...
- The Doctor: That's my age.
- Rose Tyler: You're 900 years old?
- The Doctor: Yep.
- Rose Tyler: My mother was right, that is one hell of an age gap.
- [jumps down off the wall]
- Rose Tyler: Every conversation with you just goes mental. And there's no-one else I can talk to. I've seen all that stuff up there, the size of it, and I can't say a word. Aliens and spaceships and things... and I'm the only person on planet Earth that knows they exist.
- [as if on cue, a large spaceship flies overhead. As they watch, it careens across the skyline, heading for Central London. After flying out of control for a few minutes, it crashes into Big Ben and lands in the Thames near Westminster Bridge]
- Rose Tyler: Oh that's just not fair!
- [the Doctor laughs, bewildered]