Doc Martin (TV Series)
Gentlemen Prefer (2004)
Martin Clunes: Dr. Martin Ellingham
Photos
Quotes
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Roger Fenn : So you're not going to give me anything for my throat?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : No. And I'm not going to give you anything for the chip on your shoulder either.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Shouldn't you be giggling outside my house?
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Mrs. Richards : You sacked Elaine Denham?
Nikki : For no good reason.
Mrs. Richards : They say Elaine's a good girl.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : I'm sure they do.
Nikki : Maybe in London you can mess people around like that.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Yes, as often as we can.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Elaine, you do check prescriptions before printing them, don't you?
Elaine Denham : Yeah.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Right, well, we seem to have a woman with erectile dysfunction here.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : I'm going to refer you for more tests.
Roger Fenn : Ah. Referrals, otherwise known as covering the arse.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : No, otherwise known as offering specialist treatment.
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Marianne Walker : Am I your first official patient?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : You are indeed. Collect a thousand loyalty points and you get a free coffin.
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[Elaine has taken down a garbled phone message about a boy with a dangerously high temperature]
Dr. Martin Ellingham : So there's a sick child *somewhere*, but you didn't get the telephone number, let alone the boy's name? I suppose we could always get his name from the obituary.
Elaine Denham : Right... well... look...
Dr. Martin Ellingham : No. You look, Elaine. For a new job.
Elaine Denham : What? Just because...
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Because you are the most incompetent person I have ever had the misfortune to encounter and that incompetence may very well end up costing someone their life. You're fired.
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Bruce Denham : I'm Bruce. Elaine's dad? Just thought I'd stop by and say hello.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Hello.
Bruce Denham : Is Elaine in? She does work here, doesn't she?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Not for much longer, I just fired her.
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A&E Receptionist : Is it me or do you not understand plain English?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : It's you.
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Joan Norton : You sacked a perfectly good receptionist.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Perfectly good? She made appointments before I was even open. She printed out prescriptions so inaccurate they were almost lethal. I had to go to the school to track down a child because she couldn't be relied upon to take down a phone number.
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Elaine Denham : I can't be expected to work your system.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : That would be the system whereby we don't kill the patients by prescribing the wrong medication, would it?
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Louisa Glasson : So is this another patient you've chased away from your surgery?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : What? Oh your friend Roger Fenn? God, that was quick.
Louisa Glasson : Roger? I haven't seen him in ages. He was forced to take early retirement. He thinks I took his job... well, I did take his job. It wasn't him so it must've been one of the other 30 patients you unceremoniously dispatched.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : For the record, I did not dispatch patients. I dispatched people who seem to think "surgery" is another word for "café".
Louisa Glasson : Being the doctor here is more than just handing out pills.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Yeah, it's handing out biscuits as well.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Had any family in?
Roger Fenn : Grown-up daughter. Decided not to call her, she stopped needing me a long time ago. Has a TV set of her own. You?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : No. Only child.
Roger Fenn : Parents dead?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : No. Retired. Portugal. Gone.
Roger Fenn : Nice.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Vile. We don't speak.
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Elaine Denham : Message.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : [reads the message] "Roy or Steven?"
Elaine Denham : Boy of seven. Dr Sim could read my writing.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : If there's anyone who hasn't come to gawp, drink tea or otherwise waste my time, put your hand up.
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Roger Fenn : You are a miserable bugger.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : [taking this as a compliment] Thank you.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Mr Fenn, there is a high probability you have a cancer of the larynx. You'll need surgery and you may well lose your voice, which has a certain appeal.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Has the surgeon been in?
Roger Fenn : Yes. And I thought *you* were a smug bastard.
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Junior Doctor : I read you on blocked carotids.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Don't suck up.
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[Roger Fenn is about to have an operation on his voicebox which may result in him losing his voice. Doc Martin has just confessed to him the reason that he stopped being a surgeon and became a GP]
Roger Fenn : You probably want to keep that quiet.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : [ironically] Yeah, I wouldn't want the village to fall out of love with me.
Roger Fenn : Your secret's safe with me.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well it's not like you're going to be able to tell anyone anyway, is it?
[long pause, while Roger decides whether or not to be offended by Doc Martin's tactlessness. Then he chuckles]
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[Louisa walks towards Doc Martin]
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Louisa! You're looking...
[she completely ignores him]
Dr. Martin Ellingham : ...Straight through me.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : [on telephone] Richard Edgerton, ENT. Dr Ellingham, I have a patient who needs an urgent laryngoscopy. I'd say it was a carcinoma of the larynx. Yes, that is my opinion.
[to the dog who is rooting around in the bin]
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Stop it. Stop it! Well, because I'm a doctor and he's a smoker with a lump in his neck. Would you like the tumour to write to you?
[the dog now has his head in the bin]
Dr. Martin Ellingham : WILL YOU GET OUT OF THAT BIN!
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Elaine, when we agreed that you would start 8:30, you did understand that I meant A.M.?
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Elaine Denham : It's tan.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : It's orange.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Put your tea cups down and leave.
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Roger Fenn : Can I come up and talk to you about chemo...
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Sh, sh, sh. Rest that voice. I'll see if I can squeeze you in.
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Roger Fenn : What do you do when you're not working?
Dr. Martin Ellingham : I'm always working.
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Dr. Martin Ellingham : Hello Bobby. Feeling better?
Bobby Richards : I don't like you.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : Well that's alright because, um, I like you.
Bobby Richards : I were mean to Elaine. My sisters say you're the W word, the T word, the P word, and the Zed word.
Dr. Martin Ellingham : What's the Zed word?