Dinosaurs (TV Series)

The Terrible Twos (1994)

Stuart Pankin: Earl Sinclair

Quotes 

• Earl Sinclair : [presenting the toy car wrapped in paper]  Son, this present is only for good little boys. You can have it, if you promise to be good.

  Baby Sinclair : [Faking Innocence]  I'll be good... I promise.

  [a golden halo appears on top of baby's head and a twinkle happens in his eye] 

  Fran Sinclair : It's not right, Earl, bribing a child to behave!

  Earl Sinclair : ...and if it works?

  Fran Sinclair : It's a short sighted, stop gap, quick fix solution...

  Earl Sinclair : You don't have to sell me on it.

  [Fran grunts irritably] 

  Earl Sinclair : Here, son, look! A car!

  Baby Sinclair : [excited]  A car! Oh, boy!

  Earl Sinclair : [giggles]  Come on.

  [grabs the Baby and puts him in the kiddie car] 

  Robbie Sinclair : Gee Dad, you never bribed me with anything neat like that.

  Earl Sinclair : You were never rotten enough to deserve it.

• Robbie Sinclair : [about Blarney]  He's terrible, Mom. I can't imagine a worse role model for a child.

  Earl Sinclair : [from other room]  Ouch! Darn it. I hate you, you stupid toy!

• Blarney : [singing with kids named Jeff and Tim]  Okay here we go. I am Blarney I love you. E-I-E-I-O. And if you're nice you'll love me, too. E-I-E-I-O.

  Robbie Sinclair : Well, it does seem to have quiet him down a little.

  Blarney : [still singing]  With a love love here, and a love love there, here a love there a love, everywhere a love love.

  Fran Sinclair : It's interesting, he strikes a chord with children. Something about Blarney inlooses the purest feelings of warmth and affection.

  Baby Sinclair : [with a baby bottle on his slingshot]  EAT GLASS, BLARNEY!

  Blarney : [Launches the bottle at the TV]  AAAAAHHHH!

  Baby Sinclair : [TV blows up and Fran and Robbie were shocked in surprise]  DIE SUM, DIE!

  Robbie Sinclair : [as Baby cackles]  Well, I gotta say, I'm with him.

  Fran Sinclair : That does it! I am fed up with your bad behavior, you are going to your room!

  Baby Sinclair : NO, I WANT PRESENTS!

  Fran Sinclair : You are going to your room, there will be no more presents.

  Earl Sinclair : It's present time!

• Dr. Herder : Terrible twos.

  Fran Sinclair : We think so.

  Dr. Herder : Oh, I've seen this a hundred times before. A child of two is looking for his parents to give him some concrete boundaries. So I suggest you wall him up inside a cave for a year.

  Dr. Herder : [gives the letter to Earl Sinclair]  Here. Take this to the hardware store, they'll give you cement and a trowel.

  Earl Sinclair : Doc, can I get a refill for this if he claws his way out?

  Fran Sinclair : We are not cementing our baby into a cave.

• Fran Sinclair : Please, we're desperate!

  Earl Sinclair : Yeah.

  Grandma Ethyl Phillips : Look, I already told you. He's two, it's terrible, end of story.

  Fran Sinclair : There's nothing we can do? There's no help for us anywhere? Oh, Earl, I don't think I can go on much longer.

  [cries] 

• Earl Sinclair : And we were gonna ask to jump out of the cake.

  Fran Sinclair : Terrible twos. That's an old wives' tale.

  Ethyl : So what do I look like, a debutante? Think back, Fran. You've gone through this twice before. Robbie, and then Charlene.

  Fran Sinclair : Well, let me see. I remember making little decorative twos for the birthday cakes.................. . and then they were three years old. That's funny. I've no recollection of that entire year.

  Earl Sinclair : Fran, let me try. Uh, I was sneaking a taste of the icing from Robbie's second birthday cake............... . and then it was this morning. Did I miss anything, Fran?

  Ethyl : Oh, jeez.

  Fran Sinclair : That's odd. Neither of us has any recollection of the children being two.

  Ethyl : It's was so traumatic and horrible you blocked it out, and now it's gonna happen again. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  Earl Sinclair , Fran Sinclair , Robbie Sinclair , Charlene Sinclair : [singing]  Happy Birthday dear Baby Happy Birthday to you

  Baby Sinclair : [singing]  Happy birthday to me

  [the whole family laugh and electricity crackles] 

  Baby Sinclair : [cackles] 

  Earl Sinclair : Okay, son, time to blow out the candles.

  [Baby Sinclair breathes smoke at the family] 

  Charlene Sinclair : Baby!

  Earl Sinclair : [Baby Sinclair laughs] 

  [puts icing in his mouth and smacks his lips] 

  Earl Sinclair : Yum. Devil's food.

• Fran Sinclair : Thank you so much for coming.

  Earl Sinclair : You want to hear some background on the case?

  Babysitter : That is of no use to me. The child is two years old?

  Earl Sinclair , Fran Sinclair : Yes.

  Babysitter : May heaven have mercy upon this house. Follow me. Hmm. Yes. Yes.

• Baby Sinclair : Mama. Not the mama. It's my birthday?

  Fran Sinclair : That's right, sweetheart. You're not two anymore. You're three years old. Now blow out your birthday candles.

  Baby Sinclair : Yeah, yeah! Okay.

  [blows out his birthday candles, and the family cheers] 

  Baby Sinclair : I'm starving. How about some cake?

  Earl Sinclair : Aww. It's great to have you back, son.