- Alice: I want you to make Asok my assistant.
- Catbert: If I made Asok your assistant, it would destroy his tiny ego.
- Alice: So you'll do it?
- Catbert: I need more than that. Help me help you.
- Alice: All right, let's see... it would breed resentment through the entire employee population?
- Catbert: Uh-huh... nice... you make a strong case...
- Alice: Are you thinking?
- Catbert: No, I'm toying with you. Alright, I'll do it... on one condition.
- Alice: Name it.
- Catbert: I have to be there to hear him scream when you tell him.
- Alice: Deal!