- Rob Petrie: Hi, Rich. Have you seen Mommy?
- Ritchie Petrie: When?
- Rob Petrie: This morning.
- Ritchie Petrie: Didn't YOU see her? She sleeps in YOUR room.
- Laura Petrie: [bursting into tears] I lied to you. Oh, Rob, all these years we said we'd never lie to each other and I LIED TO YOU-U-U!
- [raps finger against their insurance policy]
- Rob Petrie: [examines around where he thinks Laura's pointed] Why? What? "Sex: female?" You couldn't have lied about that!
- Ritchie Petrie: Mommy, can I have a glass for my milk?
- Laura Petrie: [preoccupied] Not before breakfast, Rich! Drink your milk!
- Rob Petrie: Maybe she's afraid to go for the physical examination. Yeah, because every time I mention a doctor's appointment she tenses up.
- Buddy Sorrell: Maybe he got a cold stethoscope.
- Rob Petrie: Why don't we run out and get married?
- Laura Petrie: When?
- Rob Petrie: W... Tonight.
- Laura Petrie: You mean we elope?
- Rob Petrie: Yeah! Yeah, we can... we can get Millie and Jerry, drive up to Greenwich and get married. And on the way back, we'll stop and see the last showing of the... of "The Charming Dr. Horrible." Ha-ha-ha.
- Laura Petrie: A marriage and a movie?
- Rob Petrie: Sure. It's a perfect evening. Whadda ya say?
- Laura Petrie: Wait a minute. We can't elope tonight.
- Rob Petrie: Why not, Honey.
- Laura Petrie: 'cause WE haven't got a babysitter.
- Rob Petrie: Aw, darn!
- Laura Petrie: Well, wait! We can get married tomorrow night.
- Rob Petrie: Well, yeah, but tomorrow night the movie's not playin'.
- Rob Petrie: I've gotta call Marvin!
- Laura Petrie: Our LAWYER? Why are you calling HIM?
- Rob Petrie: To see if I have to sleep in the den tonight.