- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: How are you, Jer?
- Jerry Helper: Oh, I'm all right, I got off cheap. Just a sprained wrist. What'd the doctor say you had?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Same thing, it's a, uh, sprain.
- Jerry Helper: A sprained what?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: A sprained body.
- Jerry Helper: A sprained body? I never heard of a sprained body before.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Well that's what I got.
- Jerry Helper: Well, where does it hurt?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: [Slowly pointing to the left side of his upper lip] You see that?
- Jerry Helper: Yeah...
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: It's the only place it doesn't hurt.
- Laura Petrie: Millie, when he left here, he was pretty angry. He might break a leg just to cause me pain.
- Millie Helper: Laura, Rob LOVES you. He'd rather cut off an arm than break a leg to cause you pain.
- Laura Petrie: Darling, I told you that I don't mind you're going. Now what more can I say?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Well, just once I would like to hear you say it like you really meant it.
- Laura Petrie: Do I give you the impression that I don't mean it?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: Very, very clearly.
- Laura Petrie: Well, I'm sorry, then I'll try to say it more convincingly: I don't mind that you and Jerry are going skiing this weekend, and I hope you both have a wonderful time.
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: All right. Boy, if you feel THAT way, I'll just stay home then.
- Laura Petrie: If Rob fell off that mountain, I was the one who pushed him.
- Millie Helper: Laura?
- Laura Petrie: Oh, yes! I pushed my husband off a mountain. If he broke anything it'll be MY FAULT.
- Laura Petrie: Millie, if he fell off a mountain and they ever find him, I'll never speak to him again.
- Jerry Helper: [after Rob concludes his phone call] Boy, Rob, you know, you were pretty rough on her. Are you really that angry with Laura?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: [physically sore all over] No, I'm not, but I want her to think I am.
- Jerry Helper: Why?
- Robert 'Rob' Petrie: If she makes up with me immediately, she's gonna wanna hug me.
- Jerry Helper: Oh, I see.