- [Rob thinks he heard the phone ring though it didn't]
- Rob Petrie: [now hearing an actual noise] What was that?
- Laura Petrie: The refrigerator defrosting. You wanna answer it?
- Laura Petrie: "To my darling Laura, who makes living a beautiful thing to write about." That's beautiful, Rob.
- Rob Petrie: It's a dedication, Honey. Now all I have to do is write a book to stick on the end of it.
- Millie Helper: Boy, you people are moody. One minute we're singin' and the next minute we're goin' in the kitchen.
- Horace: Take the couple up at the top of the hill, Lola and Francine Shrank. "Artists." Huh! Trouble-makers, that's what they are.
- Rob Petrie: Well, what do they do?
- Horace: Every year they come into town and break up our square dance.
- Rob Petrie: Well, how do they do that?
- Horace: They're nudists. It's a darn shame, too. Good dancers.