Longtime Republican senator Barry Goldwater was the first of two politicians to be roasted during the 1973 season, and like Hubert Humphrey, was a losing candidate for President during the previous decade. Fellow WW2 Air Force pilot William Conrad pays tribute to Goldwater's distinguished record as a Major General, laying waste to 11 major cities: "and then he went overseas." Norm Crosby has a trenchant comment about government and the people: "if you don't pitch in and do your part, and we here in Washington don't pitch in and do our part, then pretty soon we won't have a part to pitch in!" Steve Landesberg portrays Goldwater's nephew, Democrat Bubba Lee of Halfstaff, Arizona, who remembers his uncle advising him to follow in his footsteps: "but Uncle Barry, I want to win!" 'Token liberal' Carroll O'Connor is followed by Oscar winner William Holden, who discusses the differences between what a politician says and what he means. Both Mark Russell, longtime political satirist, and little known comedian Don Rice would reappear on the Hubert Humphrey roast, while Dan Rowan makes a rare appearance without Dick Martin. Zsa Zsa Gabor sums up the evening best, with her comment about spending a dinner date with the Senator: "Barry dear, how can they call you a conservative?"