- [first lines]
- Host: Good evening and welcome to another thought provoking episode of "Danger Theater". First up tonight, we follow The Searcher...
- Off-Camera Production Assistant: [whispering to the Host when he wanders off-camera] You're out of the shot!
- Host: [to the Off-Camera Production Assistant] Maybe that's where I wanted to be.
- Host: [to the audience] ... to Hollywood, where the streets are paved with broken hearts and every burned-out light bulb is a dream that never came true. Of all the cases The Searcher has tackled, this one may be the most bizarre. So get ready for a side of Hollywood you've never seen before. Curtain up! It's time for "Danger Theatre".
- The Searcher: [narrating] Tinseltown, La-La Land, Hollywood USA - this is where the magic happens... the world of make-believe. An illusion... nothing is real in this Babylon by the Sea. It's all movie magic.
- The Searcher: I'm a really big fan of Jimmy Jakes and Farmer Joe's Barnyard Follies. By the way, where is the little farmer? Out plowing?
- Jimmy Jakes: The farmer is trying to kill me.
- The Searcher: Your dummy... is trying to kill you? I see.
- Jimmy Jakes: Farmer Joe is a, er, um... a man.
- The Searcher: Of course he is. If he were a woman, you would have called him Farmer *Josephine*.
- Jimmy Jakes: You don't seem to get it. He's a little person. I found him 25 years ago in an orphanage. Farmer Joe is a dwarf.
- The Searcher: So, technically, you found him in a dwarfanage.
- Jimmy Jakes: Who are you workin' for anyway?
- The Searcher: I work for the side of right and I believe you're wrong.