Quotes
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Jock Ewing : J.R., if I find out you had anything to do with this, I'll kick your tail over to the next county, do you hear?
JR Ewing : Well, there's no sense in looking a gift horse in the mouth, Dad.
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Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing : What? You gonna hit your pregnant wife?
[J.R. grabs Sue Ellen and forces her to look in the mirror]
JR Ewing : Come here, Miss Texas, I want you to look at something. Pretty ain't it? A lush! A TRAMP!
Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing : [pause, giggles] And the mother of your child.
JR Ewing : Really?
Sue Ellen Shepard Ewing : Chances are.
JR Ewing : Now listen to me carefully, Sue Ellen. You take care of that baby, you hear? Be sure it's a happy, healthy one. 'Cause it's the only thing standing between you and the gutter!
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Seth Stone : Ben Maxwell is a tall order, even for you, J.R. He represents the ultimate power in Dallas. And he's clean. He believes in church on Sunday, fresh air, and lots of exercise.
JR Ewing : Is that a fact?
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[a picture of Pam with a call-girl and a politician is front page of the newspaper]
Bobby Ewing : This is your style, J.R. My wife and the man that put Cliff Barnes in office.
JR Ewing : Your wife got in plenty of trouble before you all got married. And I, I don't understand why you'd think she'd change...
JR Ewing : [Bobby grabs JR] Hey, wait a...
Jock Ewing : [Jock comes between them] Knock it off, both of ya! Before I beat the hell out of ya!
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JR Ewing : [looking at portrait] Hey, this is something new since the last time I saw you. Huh, pretty little girl. What, about four years old?
[no response]
JR Ewing : Huh? Well,
[smirks]
JR Ewing : no wonder you dropped out of sight.
Leanne Rees : She's the best thing that ever happened to me.
JR Ewing : Yeah? She in the bedroom here?
Leanne Rees : No... she's with my mother.
JR Ewing : Oh, sure, of course. Who's the father?
[laughs]
JR Ewing : Oh, sorry, darling. You know, I thought you'd have a house by now. And running a string of girls. You always had a good head for business, Amber.
Leanne Rees : The name's Leanne.
[eats carrot nonchalantly]
JR Ewing : Leanne. That's classy.
Leanne Rees : [annoyed] Will you leave?
JR Ewing : We all know I have some business to discuss with you, honey. Something that demands your special talents.
Leanne Rees : That business doesn't interest me anymore. I'm making a new life for myself.
JR Ewing : [most patronizing tone] Oh, they always try. You know that never works.
Leanne Rees : I'm making it work.
JR Ewing : Well, from the looks of this place, I'd say your old life was a lot more lucrative.
Leanne Rees : Why the sudden interest in my old life? Ewing Oil need some congressmen entertained, some parties livened up?
JR Ewing : Well, I do have a friend that needs your services. And I aim to accommodate him.
Leanne Rees : Sorry. You're taking up my time, J.R., and my time's not for sale anymore.
[walks to her door, is gonna open it for him]
JR Ewing : Honey, this man wants you. And it's in my interests to give him... what he wants.
[puts down five hundred dollar bills]
Leanne Rees : [picks up the money, counts it, then spitefully tears them up] No deal.
[cool, defiant glare]
JR Ewing : [gets up, scoffs] Honey... the courts in the state of Texas are very straight-laced about the welfare of children. They have some kind of old-fadhioned notion that a mother... should set a moral example for them.
Leanne Rees : All I ever did was sell myself, but you... you'd sell yourself, your family, your friends, for power. J.R., you're a prize pimp.
JR Ewing : You know...
[as he leaves:]
JR Ewing : coming from an expert... I consider that a compliment.
[gestures with contempt at torn bills, she's welcome to them]
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Seth Stone : Face it, J.R., Willie Joe and Jeb stuck with you, look what happened to them.
JR Ewing : I had nothin' to do with that!
Wade Luce : Maybe. They couldn't even beat that manslaughter charge. You just don't have the clout you used to have.
Andy Bradley : Cliff Barnes has got you blocked six ways from Sunday!
Seth Stone : Andy's right. With Cliff Barnes in the Office of Land Management, you've got a powerful enemy.
JR Ewing : I can handle Cliff Barnes.
Wade Luce : You can't touch Barnes, not with Ben Maxwell backing him.
Andy Bradley : No one gets to Maxwell.
JR Ewing : Now boys, don't underestimate me.
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JR Ewing : [as Pam and Leanne walk away, Ben's gaze lingers] That Leanne's a good lookin' woman, ain't she?
Ben Maxwell : Yeah, very.
JR Ewing : You interested?
Ben Maxwell : Of course not, Ewing. I'm a happily married man.
JR Ewing : [apologetically] Oh, yeah, sure.
[a devious smile creeps across his face]
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JR Ewing : [conspiring to set up Ben Maxwell] Now, just get him to your place after Pam's asleep.
Leanne Rees : Why are you setting up Pam?
JR Ewing : Well, let's just say I want to kill two birds with one stone.
