- Rupert Giles: Dr. Ferris Carlyle spent years transcribing a lost, Pre-Germanic language. What he discovered he kept to himself until several teenage boys were murdered in the Cotswolds. Then he went hunting for it.
- Buffy Summers: It being...
- Rupert Giles: Uh, he calls her a She-Mantis. This type of creature, the kleptes-virgo, or-or-or virgin-thief, appears in-in many cultures... the Greek sirens, the Celtic sea-maidens, who-who tore the living flesh from the bones of, um...
- Buffy Summers: Giles, while we're young.
- Buffy Summers: Factoid three: Her fashion sense screams predator.
- Willow Rosenberg: It's the shoulder pads.
- Buffy Summers: Exactly.
- Rupert Giles: Um, this computer invasion that Willow's performing on the coroner's office. One-One assumes it is entirely legal?
- [Buffy and Willow speak at once]
- Buffy Summers: Of course.
- Willow Rosenberg: Entirely.
- Rupert Giles: Right. Wasn't here... didn't see it... couldn't have stopped you.
- Principal Bob Flutie: You were there. You saw Doctor Gregory, didn't you?
- Buffy Summers: Um, you mean yesterday in the cafeteria when we found him...
- Principal Bob Flutie: Don't say dead or decapitated or decomposing. I'd stay away from 'D' words all together, but you witnessed the event, so this way, please.
- Cordelia Chase: I don't know what to say. It was really, I mean... One minute you're in your normal life, and then who's in the fridge? It really gets to you, a thing like that. It was... Let's just say I haven't been able to eat a thing since yesterday. I think I lost, like, seven and a half ounces... way swifter than that so-called diet that quack put me on. Oh, I'm not saying that we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight. I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side, you know?
- Buffy Summers: Try looking under things that can turn their heads all the way around.
- Rupert Giles: Nothing human can do that.
- Buffy Summers: No. Nothing human... But, there are some insects that can... Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her.
- Rupert Giles: What are you going to do?
- Buffy Summers: My homework.
- Buffy Summers: Dig this. "The praying mantis can rotate its head a hundred and eighty degrees while waiting for its next meal to walk by." Hah!
- [gets only silence]
- Buffy Summers: Well, come on, guys... Hah.
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, Miss French is sort of big for a bug.
- Rupert Giles: That's all he said? "Fork guy"?
- Buffy Summers: That's all cryptic guy said, "fork guy."
- Rupert Giles: I think there are too many guys in your life.
- Miss French: Oh, Xander... I've done something really stupid. I hope you can forgive me?
- Xander Harris: Oh, forgiveness is my middle name. Actually, it's LaVelle, and I'd appreciate it if you guard that secret with you life.
- [last lines]
- Teacher: All the term papers will be exactly six pages long. No more, no less. One third of your grade will be dependent on those papers. No more, no less.
- Angel: [about Claw] Don't let him corner you. Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out.
- Xander: This is a question that no one particularly wants to hear, but where did they put his head?
- Willow Rosenberg: Good point. I didn't want to hear that.
- Blayne Moll: She's not my type, though. Girls really got to have something to go with me.
- Xander Harris: Something like a lobotomy?
- Rupert Giles: You went hunting last night?
- Buffy Summers: Yes.
- Rupert Giles: When you assured me you wouldn't.
- Buffy Summers: Yes. I lied. I'm a bad person. Let's move on.
- Buffy Summers: Any tips on the snuffing part?
- Rupert Giles: Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade.
- Buffy Summers: Slice and dice.
- Buffy Summers: Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it, and he's still around.
- Rupert Giles: Yes. In a straitjacket howling his innards out day and night.
- Buffy Summers: Okay, Admiral. Way to inspire the troops.
- Miss French: [Buffy, Giles and Willow have gone to the hacked address of Miss French, the substitute teacher and kidnapping suspect. A much older woman than expected opens the door] Hello dear! I thought I heard... .are you selling something? Because I'd like to help you out, but, you see, I'm on a fixed income
- Buffy Summers: I'm looking for Miss French.
- Miss French: I'm Miss French.
- Buffy Summers: N-Natalie French, the substitute biology teacher?
- Miss French: Goodness. That's me. I taught for over thirty years. I retired in 1972.
- Buffy Summers: [turning to Giles and Willow] I can't believe this! She used Miss French's records to get into the school. She could be anywhere!
- Miss French: No, dear. I'm right here.
- Dr. Gregory: You have a first-rate mind and you can think on your feet. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually did the...
- Buffy Summers: The... homework... thing.
- Dr. Gregory: The homework thing. I understand you probably have a good excuse for not doing it. Amazingly enough, I don't care. I know you can excel in this class, so I expect no less. Is that clear?
- Buffy Summers: [nods] Yeah. Sorry.
- Dr. Gregory: Don't be sorry, be smart. And please don't listen to the Principal or anyone else's negative opinion about you. Let's make him *eat* that permanent record. What do you say?
- Buffy Summers: [smiles] Okay.
- [glad to have found a faculty member rooting for her]
- Buffy Summers: Thank you.
- Buffy Summers: Do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory?
- Rupert Giles: Yes. Yes, she's lovely. In a - a common, extremely well-proportioned way.
- Buffy Summers: Well, I'm chasing Claw Guy last night, and Miss Well-Proportioned is heading home. Claw Guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover.
- Rupert Giles: He what? Ran away?
- Buffy Summers: He was petrified.
- Rupert Giles: Of Miss French?
- Buffy Summers: Uh-*huh.* So, "I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand. How many things am I afraid of?"
- Rupert Giles: Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule.
- Rupert Giles: Well, basically the she-mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman, and lures innocent virgins back to her nest.
- Buffy Summers: Virgins? Well, Xander's not... a... a... I mean he's probably...
- Willow Rosenberg: [Willow jumps up from the computer and runs out, exclaiming] He's going to die!
- Buffy Summers: [rousing Xander from the reverie of his glorious dream where he becomes Buffy's hero] You're drooling! Xander! You have a little...
- [gestures at him to wipe off the spittle]
- Buffy Summers: [discussing a sighting of Claw] So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand. How many things am I afraid of?
- Rupert Giles: Not many. And not substitute teachers, as a rule.