- Prince Edmund: Tell me, Brother Baldrick, what exactly did God do to the Sodomites?
- Baldrick: I dunno, my lord. But it can't have been worse than what they used to do to each other.
- Prince Edmund: [reads stronger curse] Dear Enemy, may the lord hate you and all your kind. May you turn orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment.
- Baldrick: [Baldrick is showing Blackadder items that he says were made by Jesus as a carpenter, he holds up an unfinished item] Oh, I haven't finished this one yet.
- Prince Edmund: [reading a curse] Dear Enemy, I curse you and hope something slightly unpleasant happens to you. Like an onion falling on your head.
- Prince Edmund: You see, the thing about heaven is that heaven is for people who like the sort of things that go on in heaven. Like, well, singing, talking to God, watering pot plants.
- Prince Edmund: Yes, almost as tragic as Archbishop Bertum being struck by a falling gargoyle while swimming off Beachy Head.
- Harry: Quite, quite. And nearly as tragic as poor old Archbishop Wilfred slipping and falling backward onto the spire of Norwich Castle. Oh, Lord, you do work in mysterious ways.
- Prince Edmund: [after hearing the possible money-making schemes of being archbishop] Selling the sexual favours of Nuns? Some people actually pay for them?
- Baldrick: Foreign business men, other nuns, yes.
- King Richard IV: If you cross me, now or ever, I shall do unto you what God did unto the Sodomites, understand?
- Prince Edmund: [they are discussing pardons to be sold by the Church] And who's that one signed by?
- Baldrick: Eh, both Popes.
- [hinting that it is fake]
- King Richard IV: Egbert. Come here.
- [Edmund walks while kneeling awkwardly towards him, and kisses his hand]
- King Richard IV: [Grabs Edmund by the throat] A word of advice. If you cross me now, or ever. I shall do unto you, what god did unto the Sodomites.