Bewitched (TV Series)

Maid to Order (1966)

Elvia Allman: Mrs. Luftwaffe

Quotes 

• Mrs. Luftwaffe : [applying for the Stevens maid job]  My terms are as follows: I do no cooking, washing, ironing or heavy cleaning. I arise at nine a.m. I have every Saturday and Sunday off. Leaving at noon on Friday and returning at noon on Monday. My room must have a color television set. And I reserve the right to choose my own wallpaper.

  Samantha Stephens : I see. Now about references...

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : Yes, I'll look at them now.

  Samantha Stephens : [surprised]  You want to see my references?

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : From former housekeepers.

  Samantha Stephens : Well, I'm afraid there haven't been any.

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : Uuuh... That's bad. I have a rule against working for beginners.

  Samantha Stephens : Well, in that case, I won't take up any...

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : However, if I decide you have possibilities, I might make an exception.

  Samantha Stephens : How do you decide if I have possibilities?

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : I inspect how neat you keep your kitchen.

  Samantha Stephens : Well, I don't think that'll be necessary. I, I'm sure I don't come up to your standards.

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : I'll be the judge of that. Now, where is it?

  Samantha Stephens : What?

  Mrs. Luftwaffe : The kitchen.

  Samantha Stephens : Oh. Follow me.

  [twitches her nose to make the kitchen extremely messy] 

  Samantha Stephens : Right that way.