- Marshal Sam Best: Elvira, we both knew that soooner or later this day would come. The day when I'd have to lay my life on the line. The day when I'd have to face grave danger... The day, when... I'd see if I have what it takes to be a good lawman.
- Elvira Best: I know, Sam. But I was hoping on that day we'd be outta town.
- Laney Gibbs: Some people say goats is gonna replace cattle some day.
- Marshal Sam Best: What people?
- Laney Gibbs: People with goats.
- Sheriff Ben Lattimer: You know, I got so many remarkable stories that it's just hard for me to remember which one to start with.
- Billy Blackmore: Why don't you tell 'em the one about the gang that rode in, freed their brother, shot up the town and killed everybody in it.
- Elvira Best: Whoo! Gracious! Where did that happen?
- Billy Blackmore: Here.
- Doc Kullens: When?
- Billy Blackmore: Any minute.