The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)
Judgment Day (1998)
Steven Weber: J. Carroll Corcoran
Quotes
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J. Carroll Corcoran : Two-Face, please! I got money! Cash! I can pay you!
Two-Face : Don't tell me choir boy's got a slush fund.
J. Carroll Corcoran : Kickbacks from the Gothcorp project. A hundred grand... I can have it here in an hour!
Two-Face : Should've said something earlier. We could have flipped on it.
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J. Carroll Corcoran : What are you waiting for! They were going to murder me!
The Judge : Who are you to judge? You pose as a defender of the law while secretly stealing from the very people you swore to protect.
J. Carroll Corcoran : No! You've got it wrong!
The Judge : And then you lie to the Judge!
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J. Carroll Corcoran : Please, in the name of humanity.
Henchman : Sorry. The boss has to show your pal he won't be pushed around.
J. Carroll Corcoran : I'll give you the money. There's even more. Just let me go.
Henchman : And two-time Two-Face? Right.
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J. Carroll Corcoran : These police files weren't easy to come by, but I believe they'll be invaluable to your crusade. You understand, of course, I can't be connected to them.
The Judge : Then why are you doing this?
J. Carroll Corcoran : The people like you, Judge. My polls have shot up ten points since endorsing you. I figure if Gordon can have his hero, why can't I have mine? You knock a few heads, I go home with my hands clean. Everybody's happy.
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Two-Face : Where's the Judge?
J. Carroll Corcoran : I don't know!
Two-Face : [slapping him] You shouldn't yell at your constituents. I'll give you one more chance.
J. Carroll Corcoran : I'm telling the truth! I don't know where to find the Judge. He comes to me. He calls me. That's the way it works! Honest!
Two-Face : What do you think?
Henchman : I believe him.
Henchman : Yeah.
Two-Face : The jury has spoken. But even if you can't find him, you can still help me send him a message.
[flipping his coin, which comes up on the bad side]
Two-Face : You know what to do, boys.
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J. Carroll Corcoran : Yes, yes. I can understand your frustration.
The Judge : It's the second time Batman has interfered. I'm going to have to deal with him.
J. Carroll Corcoran : Well, let's not get too rambunctious. I got a primary next week. The last thing I need is the good guys in a slap fight.
[the Judge hangs up; as papers flutter across his desk, he sees Batman come in through the window]
J. Carroll Corcoran : Ah, speak of the devil.
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J. Carroll Corcoran : [into a tape recorder] In closing, let me just say that as your councilman, I am always at your service to solve your problems.
Two-Face : That's good to hear.
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Batman : Where's the Judge?
J. Carroll Corcoran : Oh, darn. You just missed him. And he keeps forgetting to leave his number.
Batman : I'm bringing him in, Corcoran.
J. Carroll Corcoran : What's the matter, Batman? Feeling threatened?
Batman : He's going to kill someone.
J. Carroll Corcoran : Who? Two-Face? Killer Croc? You think anyone cares?
[Batman remains stone-faced]
J. Carroll Corcoran : I'll tell you what people care about. The revolving door at Arkham that keeps sending these freaks back on the street! Not that I'm criticizing your work, mind you. You've done a heck of a job.
[Batman glances at the hand on his shoulder, which Corcoran removes]
J. Carroll Corcoran : Really great. But these days, people want results. They want closure. They want...
[seeing Batman is gone]
J. Carroll Corcoran : [satisfied] I think he got my point.
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J. Carroll Corcoran : What are you waiting for? They were going to murder me!
The Judge : Who are you to judge? You pose as a defender of the law, while secretly stealing from the very people you swore to protect.
J. Carroll Corcoran : No, you got it wrong.
The Judge : And then you lie to the Judge.
[just as he's about to strike down Corcoran with his sword, a batarang knocks it out of his hands]
Batman : Good thing I came back to see you, Corcoran. I have some news about your hero.