The New Batman Adventures (TV Series)

Critters (1998)

Peter Breck: Farmer Brown, Enoch Brown, Goat

Photos 

Quotes 

• Farmer Brown : Check your shoes for what the cow left and check your money. Two solid rules.

• Farmer Brown : I thought this might be a good place to keep you. Least 'til the silo takes off.

  Batgirl : Takes off?

  Farmer Brown : It's actually a rocket, Bat-folks, set to land in Gotham Park Lake.

  Robin : [hearing animal noises]  What's that noise?

  Batman : Insects. It's a hive.

  Farmer Brown : Yes, sir. With bigger and better, more long-lasting bugs. And the people of Gotham are gonna make sure they're well-fed, if you get my meaning. Adios.

• Farmer Brown : Well, today's certainly been one fine howdy-do.

  Det. Harvey Bullock : Don't sweat it, pops. It's only ten to twenty. And maybe we can find you and Daisy May a nice prison farm.

• Farmer Brown : Snookered again.

  Emmylou Brown : What?

  Farmer Brown : [showing her blank paper under a dollar bill]  Always check the money first, honey.

• Emmylou Brown : When I was looking for a tracer in the van, I saw him hanging over the side, wetter than a bag of drowned cats.

  Farmer Brown : Well, now, city fella. I don't reckon it's all that polite to show up at a fellow's abode without an invitation.

  Det. Harvey Bullock : [sarcastic]  Gee, Snuffy, guess I plum forgot my manners.

  Farmer Brown : Use him for hog slop.

  Det. Harvey Bullock : [she picks him up with relative ease]  Hey, what the...? Whoa!

• Commissioner James Gordon : Killer chickens? Giant cattle? What the heck's going on?

  Batman : Remember that microbiologist they used to call Farmer Brown?

  [as they hear thumping, the door crashes open and an electronic goat enters] 

  Goat : Howdy. Howdy. Howdy.

  Commissioner James Gordon : Good Lord!

  Goat : 50 million in unmarked bills. The docks tonight, or the bugs come baaaack for good.

  Commissioner James Gordon : 50 million!

  Goat : One person brings money. No tricks, no surprises. No Baaaatman.

  Det. Harvey Bullock : [entering]  Hey! He ate my donut!

• Judge : Enoch Brown, I'm handing down an injunction ordering you to cease and desist these monstrous experiments. You are to remove any living specimens to safe captivity outside Gotham City.

  Enoch Brown : Judge, I put millions into this. If I can't continue my experiments, I'm down the drain, washed up, snookered and sunk.

  Judge : You should have thought of that when you started creating these monsters.

  [banging his gavel] 

  Judge : Adjourned.

  Emmylou Brown : [sympathetic]  Oh, daddy...

  Enoch Brown : Monsters, huh? I'll show 'em monsters.

• Enoch Brown : I say again, ladies and gentlemen, not since man put two slices of bread on either side of a hunk of meat has there been anything as exciting as what you are gonna see here today.

  Reporter : Well, that's what you've been saying for an hour. We haven't seen anything but your daughter and a tarp.

  Enoch Brown : Coming to it, sir. You want enough hamburger to feed a nation? You want a turkey drumstick big enough for the whole family this Thanksgiving? Well, you gotta have your special growth hormones invented by me, Farmer Brown.

• [Batman attempts to throw a Batarang, only to see Farmer Brown and Emmylou holding Robin hostage] 

  Enoch Brown : I'll be takin' that snazzy belt o' your'n.