Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

Trial (1994)

Mark Hamill: The Joker, Waiter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Harley Quinn : I just wanna say, if there was no Batman, there'd be no Joker, and I'd have never met my Puddin'. Thank you, Batman.

  [Batman glares at her] 

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : Sad, isn't it. Harleen Quinzel was a doctor here at Arkham until the Joker twisted her mind.

  Harley Quinn : Ha! You're just jealous because you don't have a fella who's as lovin' and loyal to you as my Puddin' is to me!

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : Ah-ha. And I suppose it was that same "loyalty" I saw the last time you escaped and "Puddin'" here...

  [points to the Joker] 

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : ...finked on you in hopes of getting time off!

  Harley Quinn : Is that true, Puddin'?

  The Joker : [sheepishly]  "Finked" is such an ugly word...

  Harley Quinn : [grabs the Joker and starts shaking him]  You lousy, scum sucking creep!

  The Joker : The witness is excused!

• D.A. Janet Van Dorn : I suppose you, like your friends, claim that Batman 'drove' you to be a criminal?

  The Mad Hatter : He did.

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : And yet, as I recall your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you.

  The Mad Hatter : Batman forced me to do it! He was going to take her away from me, I had no choice!

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : You could have respected her wishes and left her alone.

  The Mad Hatter : I'D HAVE KILLED HER FIRST! Oop! I'd like that last statement stricken from the record please.

  The Joker : Record? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?

• Two-Face : Nobody panic!

  [Everyone turns to find Harley Quinn dangling from the ceiling, strapped in Batman's straightjacket] 

  The Joker : OK... start panicking.

• Scarface : [as the Joker aims a gun]  Hold on, you'll hit Croc!

  The Joker : What's your point?

• Scarface : Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the self-righteous vigilante called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury!

  The Mad Hatter : Hang him!

  Harley Quinn : Shoot him!

  Killer Croc : Hit him with a rock!

  Scarface : And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!

  The Joker : [bangs gavel]  Guilty!

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : I was promised a chance to defend my client!

  The Joker : Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.

• The Joker : Jury, you've heard the evidence. Consider your verdict.

  The Mad Hatter : [after deliberating with his fellow rogues on the jury, the Mad Hatter, acting as foreman, stands up]  Your honor, in light of Ms. Van Dorn's stirring defense we have no choice but to find the defendant... not guilty.

  D.A. Janet Van Dorn : [This verdict shocks everyone else in attendance, but none more so than Janet, who turns to Batman]  Amazing.

  The Joker : Well done, counselor. You've proven that Batman didn't create us. That we, in fact, messed up our own rotten lives. And as we are so rotten, vile and depraved... we're going to waste you anyway.

  The Joker : [All the inmates of Arkham, including the criminals who just "acquitted" Batman, erupt in cheers, while Janet gasps]  A-bi, a-bi, a-bi, that's all, folks!

  [Bangs rubber chicken gavel] 

  The Joker : Let's mambo!

• The Joker : Look alive, Batman!

  [tying him up with a lasso] 

  The Joker : Here comes the judge!

  [cackling as he rappels down, pulling Batman against a wall] 

  The Joker : Old hanging judge Joker, that's me!

• The Joker : [with an Irish brogue]  And now for the final confession. The big secret you've kept from us for so many years. Brothers and sisters, at long last, I give you the man behind the Bat!

  [as he moves to remove Batman's cowl, Janet throws his confiscated batarang into a spotlight] 

  The Joker : What?

  Two-Face : [clicking on a cigarette lighter]  He's gone! Everyone spread out! Don't let him get away!

  Batman : Who says I'm leaving?