Batman: The Animated Series (TV Series)

The Lion and the Unicorn (1995)

Efrem Zimbalist Jr.: Alfred Pennyworth

Quotes 

• Robin : [Alfred knocks out a thug with an antique chair, breaking it]  And here I thought all you dusted was furniture.

  Alfred Pennyworth : A Louis Quinze. What a pity.

• Frederick : I don't suppose you'd consider coming out of retirement?

  Alfred Pennyworth : And taking up civil service pay grades again? Hardly, old man. I've become accustomed to my style of living.

  Frederick : It's a great pity. It was just like old times.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Give my best to Whitehall.

• Alfred Pennyworth : I've fixed your supper. It's upstairs in the oven.

  Dick Grayson : What would we do without you, Alfred?

  Alfred Pennyworth : I shudder to think.

• Alfred Pennyworth : [after being drugged with a truth serum]  You'll get nothing but gibberish out of me, madam. I come from haunts of cootenfern and knicker sudden Sally. Uh... dee-dum dee-dum dee-dum dee-dum, and bicker down the valley.

  Red Claw : [shakes her head]  And people wonder why no one takes Britain seriously anymore.

• Red Claw : Give me the code, or I'll...

  Alfred Pennyworth : [muttering nonsensically]  The lion and the unicorn, fighting for the crown.

  Red Claw : He can't be resisting the drug this long. It's impossible!

  Alfred Pennyworth : The lion and the unicorn...

  Red Claw : [realizing]  Wait! He's not resisting. This doggerel *is* the code!

• Frederick : It's good to see you again, old man. I'm sorry it has to be under such circumstances.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Exactly what circumstances are we talking about?

  [his blindfold is removed] 

  Alfred Pennyworth : My heavens! Red Claw!

  Red Claw : So pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Pennyworth. If you do exactly as I say, you might live to see tomorrow.

• Red Claw : The code, old man, now!

  Frederick : [struggling to resist]  14... 14... Gurrier's Crescent... Blairquhan, upper.

  Red Claw : Absurdly simple, like most passwords. Now, as for you.

  Alfred Pennyworth : [sing-songy]  Half a league, half a league, half a league onward.

  Red Claw : Desperate valor to the last. Not that it will help you. Sooner or later, the serum always wins.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Good evening, Master Bruce. I'm so sorry to have disturbed your rest, but...

  Bruce Wayne : Alfred! Are you all right? Where are you?

  Alfred Pennyworth : I'm at the Yorkshire Arms just at the moment. In London.

  Bruce Wayne : London, England?

  Alfred Pennyworth : There's only one, Master Bruce. I seem to be in a bit of a sticky situation, and I was wondering if you...

  Ernie : [pounding on, then crashing through the door]  Come along easy, gramps. We don't wanna hurt you.

  Alfred Pennyworth : I'm afraid I'll have to ring off for now, sir. It seems I have unexpected guests.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Frederick?

  Ernie : Hello. Is that Alfie?

  Alfred Pennyworth : "Mr. Pennyworth" will do.

  Bert : Right, then. A Sir Freddie sent us. Wants you to come with us.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Frederick sent *you*?

  Ernie : That's right-o, luv. Come along, now. We'll pop 'round and see 'im.

  Alfred Pennyworth : I think not. Frederick knows I hate being called Alfie as much as he hates Freddie.

• Red Claw : I've wasted enough courtesy on you two.

  Frederick : Courtesy? None that I've seen.

  Red Claw : [slapping him]  I want this missile silo operational. I intend for the British government to give me £5 billion to keep me from wiping London off the map.

  Frederick : You understand, old man, I had no choice in the matter.

  Alfred Pennyworth : But of course, dear boy.

• Alfred Pennyworth : Truth serum?

  Red Claw : Of course. The old methods are still often the best. Fight it if you like. You won't hold out for long. But... it might be amusing.

  Alfred Pennyworth : Well, anything to amuse a lady, if "lady" is the word I want, which I doubt.