- Commissioner Gordon: 12.03. I can't conceive of what happened to those three milionaires. It's all too incredible, but Gotham City now belongs to Chief Screaming Chicken.
- Chief Screaming Chicken: You'd better believe it, buddy!
- Commissioner Gordon: [Millionaires Wayne, Tyler and Savage finally arrive] What happened to you?
- Bruce Wayne: That's a long story are we...
- Commissioner Gordon: Too late! Midnight came and went, and with it the fate of Gotham City.
- Chief Screaming Chicken: You no show up, me now ownum Gotham City and all subburbs. That is the way the wigwam watusies.
- Batman: Who are you, citizen?
- Jose Jimenez: Oh, my name José Jimenez. And who may I ask are you two nice people climbing down the side of this building when the elevators are available?
- Egghead: [about Bruce Wayne] The man has a mind full of trivia, it's inconceivable that he could be Batman.
- Batman: Miss Bacon, I'm puzzled why a girl of your obvious breeding, education, style and class should become involved with someone like...
- [disdainfully]
- Batman: Egghead.
- Miss Bacon: I guess I'm just lucky, Batman.
- Old MacDonald: Who's going to pay for all my eggs?
- Batman: Don't worry Mr. MacDonald you will be reimbursed at the current market value.
- Jose Jimenez: [after the jury just decided the sentence for a terrible nasty criminal person] Fellas, could you leave the rope?