- Santa: Say, you tell me where the Batcave is, and I'll, I'll leave a little present in your stocking.
- Batman: [looks into camera] If you can't trust Santa, whom can you trust?
- [looks to Santa]
- Batman: We can't tell you here, Mr. Claus, but we'll telephone you at the North Pole on the batphone.
- Santa: Good, good, I'll get to the Batcave if I have to slide down the batpole instead of a chimney. Merry Christmas, hohoho!
- Batman, Robin: Merry Christmas, Santa!
- Robin: This'll teach that crook to be a litterbug. He should put trash in the proper waste container!
- The Puzzler: Oh, these juggling fiends that keep the word of promise to our ear and break it to our hope! Eh, MacBeth.
- The Puzzler: I may be an arch-villain, but I am a one hundred percent naturalized American arch-villain!
- The Puzzler: Puzzles, I've done a lot about puzzling, but this is the first time I've out-puzzled an airplane's control panel puzzle.
- The Puzzler: My soul is full of discord and dismay.
- Batman: Hamlet.
- The Puzzler: Act four.
- Batman: Scene 1.
- The Puzzler: Line 46.
- Batman: 45.
- The Puzzler: Egad, sir, you're right!
- [salutes Batman]