- Egghead: What are you doing, Olga, light of my life, my little future wife?
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Forget rhymski!
- Robin: The Bat-computer is none too frisky today, Batman.
- Batman: Yes, it's possible the supply of radium somewhere in the city has been moved. And as radio-sensitive as our machine is, it just possibly could be affected by that, and it's lucky that you and Batgirl found us, Alfred, otherwise Robin and Commissioner Gordon might not be too frisky either.
- Robin: Holy understatements, we would have been in the soup for good.
- Barbara Gordon: Petula, does the library subscribe to South Eastern Regional Journal of Applied Radiology?
- Petula: We don't get it any more, Barbara. Remember we had to cancel it last year when the city council cut our budget.
- Barbara Gordon: That's right, I forgot. I got to get hold of a copy of it. Who in Gotham City whould have it?
- Petula: The only person in Gotham City who subscribes to more periodicals than the public library is millionaire Bruce Wayne.
- Batman: I'm afraid we're not going to get much help from the Bat-Computer, Robin. It can't go back to prehistoric times. This is a problem for good old- fashioned brain-power. We'll have to think it out.
- [touches index finger to forehead and thinks]
- Batgirl: That was a slimy trick, you rotten egg!
- Egghead: Of course, Batgirl, I have a patent on slimy tricks.
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Wait a minute, Eggski. Where is my KeBadushka?
- Egghead: Batman? He was probably too afraid of me to show up. Only these foolhardy youngsters are in politic enough to do that.
- Olga, Queen of the Cossacks: Does not sound like Badushka I know, huh.
- Egghead: That's because you don't know him as well as I do, Olga. At heart he is a coward in the eggstreme
- Robin: [being restrained by Cossacks] Batman has more courage in his little finger than you have in your whole cowardly body, you...
- Egghead: [shouting] Quiet, Wonder Midget, or I'll have you cut off permanently!