- Dick Grayson: Oh boy! I like Rock & Roll music as much as the next red-blooded average American teenager. But this stuff is awful!
- [turns off the record player Aunt Harriet is dancing to and hands the record to Alfred]
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: It's the latest dance. They call it the 'Catussi'.
- Alfred: [looking at the label] By 'Benedict Arnold and the Traitors'.
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Eleven o'clock in Gotham City and all is well... or is it? Criminals prefer plying their trade under the cloak of darkness, and tonight is no exception.
- [last lines]
- Narrator: Is their goose really cooked? Will Batman and Robin stew in their own juice? Are all their plans and dreams to go up in smoke? The answer to these and other burning questions tomorrow! Same cat-time, same cat-channel!
- Catwoman: [as Batman and Robin are fighting her henchmen] Enough. Enough! Cease this... fiddle-dee-dee.
- Commissioner Gordon: A catalog taken from a department store... a catamaran taken from the Nautical Society... three mittens taken from a fancy apartment. Hah! What, eh, what does all that spell out to you, O'Hara?
- Chief O'Hara: T-R-O-U-B-L-E. Trouble. The Princess of Plunder!
- Commissioner Gordon: Catwoman!
- Chief O'Hara: [gasps] The saints preserve us!
- Commissioner Gordon: When facing an adversary like the Countess of Criminality, there is only one man who can deal with, and eventually overcome that threat to our security...
- [heads for the Batphone]
- Catwoman: Now, pay attention: it's time for your lesson in window-jimmying. After this, we'll have a short recess, and discuss Batman and Robin's upcoming funeral.
- Commissioner Gordon: O'Hara, I have grown to realize that there are two basics in life we can be sure of.
- Chief O'Hara: Death and taxes, sir?
- Commissioner Gordon: [looks at camera] Batman and Robin.