Batman (TV Series)

Fine Feathered Finks (1966)

Walter Burke: Sparrow

Photos 

Quotes 

• Sparrow : Maybe I'm dumb, Penguin, but I don't dig this caper.

  The Penguin : Oh, it's very simple, my little gosling. I'm going to unleash the most bizarre, senseless barrage of umbrellas onto Gotham City. It'll be senseless to everybody but the Batman, whose keen mind will unquestionably piece together the clues to my crime.

  Sparrow : But what crime? What the heck are you plannin'?

  The Penguin : Nothing.

  Sparrow : Nothing?

  Hawkeye : Nothing? What do you mean "nothing"?

  The Penguin : I am planning nothing. The Batman's going to do that for me. The Batman's not only going to pick my crime, he is going to provide me with a blueprint as to how I should pull it off.

  Hawkeye : Penguin, are you sure you haven't gone stir-crazy?

  The Penguin : Why, you birdbrain.

  [conking him on the head with an umbrella rod] 

  The Penguin : How dare you mock me on the eve of my greatest triumph?

  Sparrow : Do you really mean that Batman is gonna plan our caper?

  The Penguin : Yes, my fine feathered finks. Mm, it's just a little plot that I hatched in prison. You wait and see. The Batman and the Penguin are going to be partners in plunder.

• The Penguin : Good day, sir. Can I help you, sir?

  Bruce Wayne : I hope so, Mr. Bird.

  The Penguin : Mm-hmm.

  Bruce Wayne : I'm looking for an artisan to repair this fine old umbrella. It belonged to my late father.

  The Penguin : [inspecting it]  Ah, it's quality goods. I can tell at a glance. Just let me study it for a moment, please.

  Bruce Wayne : Oh, please, by all means.

  The Penguin : Yes.

  [as Bruce tries to plant an electronic bug, an alarm goes off] 

  The Penguin : [trapping him in a net]  Well, it's fortunate that I equipped my shop with an automatic anti-bugging machine!

  [he sprays knockout gas in Bruce's face] 

  Sparrow : Who is he, boss?

  The Penguin : I have no idea. Some rival umbrella king, perhaps, trying to steal my precious secrets. It's a clear case of industrial espionage. Why, the wretched, blundering fool! This. Enh!

  [smashing the bug] 

  The Penguin : But whoever he is, one thing is certain: I can't afford to have him snooping around here today, today of all days, when I'm about to deal Batman his greatest blow.

  Hawkeye : The river, boss?

  The Penguin : No, no. The furnace. The tempering furnace, where we forge the umbrella ribs. Take him away, my fine feathered finks, and arrange a fatal accident... without witnesses.