- The Joker: [Batman and Robin are lying unconscious with their heads on a chopping block] I get the S.S. Gotham, or your precious Dynamic Duo gets launched... to eternity!
- [laughs]
- Batman: [Batman and Robin spring into action] Wrong, Joker! YOU get launched!
- Robin: Right back to the pen where you belong!
- The Joker: Egads! What sorcery is this? There was enough paralyzing gas in that cork to keep ordinary men unconscious for hours!
- Batman: No sorcery; merely the precaution of a Universal Drug Antidote PILL!
- [slugs the Joker]
- Robin: [as a fight ensues] You've tripped on one of your tricks this time, Joker!
- Batman: That replica of your utility belt was too exact!
- Robin: We analyzed the cork you had in it and found paralyzing gas!
- Batman: And I just happened to notice that the seal around the cork in that bottle of champagne was NOT discolored with age... odd in a 1849 vintage!
- Narrator: [narrating] Have Batman and Boy Wonder finally met their match? Will the Joker's utility belt prove their ultimate undoing?
- Fred the Newscaster: [cut to Gotham TV Studio where a news broadcast is in progress] These are the questions all Gotham City is asking itself tonight: Have Batman and Boy Wonder finally met their match? Will the Joker's utility belt prove their ultimate undoing? In a filmed interview in his office today, Police Commissioner Gordon had answers to these questions.
- Fred the Newscaster: [cut to the Batcave, where Batman, Robin and Alfred are watching Gordon being interviewed on their color Bat-Television] Commissioner Gordon, have Batman and Boy Wonder finally met their match?
- Commissioner Gordon: Well, let me say this, Fred: I... I'd hate to think so.
- Fred the Newscaster: Do you think the Joker's utility belt will prove their ultimate undoing?
- Commissioner Gordon: Heaven help us all if it does.
- Chief O'Hara: [leans closer to microphone] Eh, amen!
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: It's time for your piano lesson, Dick.
- Dick Grayson: [watching television with Bruce and Alfred] Aw, gee, Aunt Harriet, I wanna hear about the Joker!
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: The Joker?
- [turns off the television set]
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: Bruce Wayne, I'm surprised at you. Allowing a boy Dick's age to listen to such sordid goings on.
- [Bruce winks at Dick as Aunt Harriet addresses Dick]
- Aunt Harriet Cooper: Now you march yourself straight over to that piano, young man.
- Dick Grayson: [desperate glance at Bruce] Golly G-minor, Bruce, do I have to?
- Bruce Wayne: Who am I to oppose your Aunt Harriet? I doubt whether even Batman would wanna take that job on.