- Harry Tannenbaum: You know, the first eight or nine times I was robbed I took it personal. I thought it was a prejudice thing. You know, Tannenbaum. So I put a sign up in the window: "Tannenbaum Means Christmas Tree." You know, like the song. A fellow comes in with a gun, looks at the sign, and says, "Okay, stick up your branches! One move and I'll blow your bulbs off!"
- Harry Tannenbaum: When the temperature gets over 90, the crazies come out of the cracks. Believe me, I know.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Then why don't you buy a gun?
- Harry Tannenbaum: I made a deal with the mayor. I don't buy guns, and cops don't sell corned beef.