- Emma Peel: [calling Steed on the phone] John darling? It's Emma.
- John Steed: Hm? Oh, eh, Mrs, eh...
- Emma Peel: Don't be silly darling. Your wife. How is my litte Johnsy-Wonsy?
- John Steed: Johnsy-Wonsy's fine, but you sound as though you've been soaking up just a tiny bit too much grapejuice.
- Emma Peel: You haven't been out all day? You really should, darling. Drive out. Take the children with you.
- John Steed: Children? You're in trouble aren't you?
- Emma Peel: That's right.
- John Steed: Is there somebody listening?
- Emma Peel: Yes, and I've had an absolutely tortuous day.
- John Steed: [struggling to open Emma's chastity belt] It may surprise you to know that I've had very little experience with this type of garment.
- John Steed: Took your advice. Went to the pub. The landlord was extremely inhospitable. He came at me with a 12 bore. I hadn't even criticized the beer.
- John Steed: I gather you've known each other for a long time?
- Emma Peel: Since I was seven.
- Major Paul Croft: Six. She was a leggy little horror with pigtails.
- John Steed: I can't believe it.
- Major Paul Croft: Oh, it's true. We lived next door to each other. I often used to climb over the wall...
- John Steed: No, no, I mean the champagne. I specifically asked my vendor for a '26. He sent me a '27!
- Emma Peel: What's a digit between friends?
- Dr. J. F. Haymes: This is ridiculous. I've known the people of this village more than half my life.
- Emma Peel: Since you were six years old? That's how long I've known Paul Croft.