Annie Oakley (TV Series)

Joker on Horseback (1956)

Robert Easton: 'Smiley' Douglas

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Smiley Douglas : Maybe-maybe I could buy you dinner tonight to kinda make up for things.

  Jill Curtis : Well, I-I don't know... I...

  Smiley Douglas : I'll buy you the biggest, thickest, juiciest old steak in town. Please, ma'am, please...

  [Tagg locks handcuffs on Smiley's and Jill's wrists] 

  Smiley Douglas : What did you do?

  Annie Oakley : Tagg!

  Tagg Oakley : [imitating Smiley]  That's a real tummybuster!

  Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig : You better unlock 'em, Tagg.

  Tagg Oakley : I don't have the key. Well, Smiley can, can't you?

  Smiley Douglas : I don't know that I want to, Tagg. I kind of like it this way.

• Wilson : What just was it that you wanted, Mr, Douglas?

  Smiley Douglas : The money out of your safe.

  Wilson : Money? My safe?

  Smiley Douglas : Yes, sir. I'm a bank robber. See, I'd appreciate it awful much if you'd hurry because my boys might get anxious.

  Wilson : Your boys?

  Smiley Douglas : Yes, sir. The two gentlemen sitting out in front there. It's awful noisy when there's hand shooting.

• Smiley Douglas : Doggone, I would have come to Diablo a long time before this if I'd known there was anything like you around. Why, you're near as pretty as a Texas girl.

• Smiley Douglas : Say, do you know some place around here I can get my horse boarded?

  Tagg Oakley : Sure, Miss Curtis down the street and 'round the corner. You can't miss it.

  Smiley Douglas : Well, I guess I did.

• Smiley Douglas : It's times like that I wish I was a horse.

• Annie Oakley : These folks have worked hard all year to get their round-up money in the bank. Almost losing it isn't anything to laugh about.

  Smiley Douglas : Well, doggone it, Nobody got hurt. Just to show you I mean well, have a see-gar, Mr. Wilson. I guess you people will remember Smiley Douglas, huh? I aim to settle right here in Diablo.

  Deputy Sheriff Lofty Craig : One thing's for sure, you're spending your first night in the Diablo jail.

• Smiley Douglas : You figure that I could get here to like me, just being plain, old Smiley, no jokes or nothing.

  Annie Oakley : Well, it's worth a try.

  Smiley Douglas : Doggone it if it ain't.

• Miller : [Smiley tries to mount his horse at the livery stable but slides off to the ground with Miller laughing at him]  Smiley, I told you Jill Curtis was a real good practical joker.

  Smiley Douglas : Ooh, ah, that's what it was. Oh, see, I figured that the horse was losing weight. Oh, you mean Miss Curtis?

  Miller : Yes, yes. She loosened the cinch. And you're not going to let her get away with it, are you?

• Smiley Douglas : There ain't no lock strong enough to keep me away from home cooking. I used this little piece of bed spring.

• Miller : All this big talk of yours is just typical Texas.

  Smiley Douglas : Now hold on there. You can talk about me, but don't you talk about the great State of Texas.

• Smiley Douglas : May the great State of Texas be swallowed up tomorrow if I'm lying.