The Addams Family (TV Series)
Uncle Fester, Tycoon (1965)
Jackie Coogan: Uncle Fester
Photos
Quotes
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Uncle Fester : I love Diana... I dream of running barefoot through her beard.
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Morticia Addams : [in the guise of Diana's mother] You owe me a nickel!
Uncle Fester : Ya need it all at once?
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[Trying to retrieve a phone number for a business deal from memory, Fester ends up telephoning himself on his other extension]
Uncle Fester : [ring] Hello.
Uncle Fester : Hello! I don't like that merger deal.
Uncle Fester : You don't like it! Who asked you?
Uncle Fester : Nobody asked me. I'm tellin' you, smart guy!
Uncle Fester : Oh, so now I'm a smart guy, huh? Well, you listen...
Uncle Fester : No, you listen - the deal's off.
[hangs up]
Uncle Fester : Oh, yeah? Well, you can say that again!
[hangs up]
Uncle Fester : [to Lurch] You can't let these fellas push you around.
Lurch : [having seen the whole thing] Uggggggh.
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Uncle Fester : [explaining why there's a light bulb in his mouth] Oh, the children persuaded me to light up and ride my cycle around, just for old time's sake.
Morticia Addams : We love to watch him ride his motorcycle in the house.
Gomez Addams : And wrestle the alligator.
Thaddeus Logan : Wrestle... the alligator? A live alligator?
Gomez Addams : Not very sporting wrestling a dead one.
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Uncle Fester : Gomez, uh, can you see your way clear to advance me a nickel for a postage stamp?
Gomez Addams : No, but I can give you a check.
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Uncle Fester : All right! If that's what it takes, I'll get it! You'll see! I'll be a big success! I'll throw gold, and diamonds, right at your daughter's feet!
Morticia Addams : [in the guise of Diana's mother] I warn you, she 's got... very big feet!
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Lurch : Youuuuu Rannnng.
Uncle Fester : No, but, Lurch, you can get the car out. I have a date with a very important oyster.