The Addams Family (TV Series)
Thing Is Missing (1965)
Carolyn Jones: Morticia Addams
Photos
Quotes
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Morticia Addams : Darling, is that family portrait still around?
Gomez Addams : Yes, but I'm afraid Thing isn't in it. Don't you remember? He took the picture.
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Gomez Addams : Here we are: a few samples from my diamond mine.
Morticia Addams : All of our really fine stones are cursed, of course. Been in the Addams family for generations.
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Gomez Addams : Morticia, it's a ransom note!
Morticia Addams : A ransom note? You mean...
Gomez Addams : He's been thing-napped!
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Wednesday Addams : That new cactus brush really makes my head feel nice and tingly.
Morticia Addams : Well, I'm glad, darling. I'll just go upstairs and throw away your old porcupine quill brush.
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Gomez Addams : You know, Tish, there're some times I wish your name were something like Ooo-Ooo.
Morticia Addams : Ooo-Ooo?
Gomez Addams : It's almost impossible to blow smoke rings and spell out Morticia.
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Morticia Addams : Oh, I see my roses need trimming again. No matter what I do, those smelly petals keep growing back.
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Morticia Addams : Uncle Fester! How can you be so callous?
Uncle Fester : I've been practicin'.
Gomez Addams : That does help.
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Detective : But if it isn't a person, just what sort of a thing is it that's missing, Mrs. Addams? Is it a pet?
Morticia Addams : Well, it's... It's a family retainer.
Detective : Oh... oh, it's a... it's a servant. Well, isn't that a person?
Morticia Addams : Not necessarily.
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Sam Diamond : Eh, who was it that got snatched?
Morticia Addams : Thing.
Sam Diamond : Thing? What was his last name?
Gomez Addams : Thing.
Sam Diamond : Thing Thing? Kind of a name i' zat?
Morticia Addams : It fits him perfectly.
Gomez Addams : It's true. Signs himself Thing T. Thing.
Sam Diamond : Uh-huh. And... the T stands for...?
Morticia Addams , Gomez Addams : [together] Thing.
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[the ransom note calls for a disinterested party to deliver the money in exchange for Thing. Morticia recalls this as Det. Sam Diamond, unsuccessful at trying to understand who Thing is, prepares to leave the case]
Morticia Addams : Gomez, I do believe he's our man. The ransom note said "a disinterest party." He seems very disinterested.
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[last lines]
[Going on a outing, the Addamses head for the car]
Gomez Addams : Tish, where will Thing ride?
Morticia Addams : Darling, where he always rides - in the glove compartment.