- Uncle Fester: Well, maybe we can all learn to love the little P.U.P.P.Y.?
- Morticia Addams: Uncle Fester, go to your room!
- Morticia Addams: Oh, it went that badly, dear?
- Gomez Addams: Terrible. He even called me 'dad'.
- Morticia Addams: Thank heaven he's never called me 'mom'.
- Uncle Fester: I can't stand these weird things. I'm gonna sit in my treehouse and watch the lightning.
- Morticia Addams: What's closer in this world than a boy and his mother?
- Pugsley Addams: A boy and his octopus?
- Gomez Addams: Darling, there's something I was hoping I wouldn't have to tell you. The other afternoon, I saw Pugsley playing with a bat.
- Morticia Addams: A bat? Oh, well that's more like our boy.
- Gomez Addams: A baseball bat. It's a game, played outdoors... in the sun.
- Morticia Addams: Maybe, we were thoughtless. That summer, we were too busy to go Into the bat cave with him. Now, he throws balls at them.