- Willie Tanner: Kate, I gotta go. I'm in a big hurry. I can't explain. I'll be back as soon as I can.
- Kate Tanner: Say hi to ALF for me.
- ALF: On Melmac we had an expression. There's a sucker born every month except February which has 28.
- ALF: [Playing darts] What did you get?
- Jake Ochmonek: Fourteen, twenty five, twenty nine.
- ALF: What did I get?
- Jake Ochmonek: Oil can, cabinet door and a box.
- ALF: I win.
- Willie Tanner: There must be a simple explanation for this broken wire.
- ALF: Yeah, you got took, conned, nicked and clipped. You got your horn swoggled and your flim flammed.