- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Well, boy, this is typical, huh? We do all the digging, Hannibal has all the fun, sitting out front playing Yosemite Sam.
- John "Hannibal" Smith: I always wanted to do a bridge swap. Just like in the movies.
- H.M. Murdock: Aren't they traditionally used for the exchange of spies?
- John "Hannibal" Smith: Works for anybody who doesn't trust each other.
- Rusty Blackburn: We were watching him all night, he only left twice and was out here whittling the rest of the time.
- Wade Blackburn: What'd you whittle?
- John "Hannibal" Smith: [as an old prospector] Oh I... whittled me a gun!
- [grabs a rifle and starts shooting]
- Sheriff Hopkins: Now I have to ticket you for an expired meter.
- B.A. Baracus: This meter's broke, I couldn't put no money in it.
- Sheriff Hopkins: Destruction of public property, that's a fifty dollar fine.
- H.M. Murdock: But we didn't break this meter.
- Sheriff Hopkins: Public rowdiness. That's a hundred and fifty dollar fine.
- B.A. Baracus: What the heck is going on around?
- Sheriff Hopkins: Using profanity in public. I can't recall the fine for that. Oh well, lets call it a night in jail.
- B.A. Baracus: I said 'heck', that's not profanity!
- Sheriff Hopkins: It IS in Whispering Pines.
- John "Hannibal" Smith: How'd you get that number?
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: Ah, the old fashioned rotary dial telephone.
- H.M. Murdock: [the A-Team is turning a catering truck into an armored car] What are we gonna call this thing?
- John "Hannibal" Smith: B.A.'s mistake.
- H.M. Murdock: B.A., what's this part go to?
- B.A. Baracus: Leave me alone, Murdock, I'm busy.
- H.M. Murdock: [picks up a second part] What do I do with THIS part?
- B.A. Baracus: Save it for the next truck!
- H.M. Murdock: Faceman, this coffee's lousy.
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: That's easy for you to say, you're not the one that's been cooking for 400 people. How much coffee does it take to make 200 cups? Can anybody tell me that?
- B.A. Baracus: Hannibal's always got a plan.
- Jason Duke: So what's the plan, Hannibal?
- John "Hannibal" Smith: We put the truck back together.
- B.A. Baracus: Not always a GOOD plan.
- John "Hannibal" Smith: Anybody got any better ideas?
- Templeton "Faceman" Peck: You guys are only in time for an hour and you're already on the ten most wanted list.
- H.M. Murdock: We work fast.