Eagle vs Shark (2007)
Jemaine Clement: Jarrod
Photos
Quotes
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Jarrod : Damnit I'm too complex!
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Jarrod : I almost came as a shark actually, but then I realized an eagle's slightly better.
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Jarrod : It's time to pay the piper. He's gonna reap what he sowed, and it sure ain't corn. Or wheat.
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Jarrod : You're a bitch and you're going to die of diabetes!
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Jarrod : That was some pretty good sex last night, huh?
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[Jarrod's family and Lily are all eating dinner together. Jarrod clumsily clinks his fork on his glass to get everybody's attention]
Jarrod : [stands up] Well, I suppose I should say a few words...
Nancy : [interrupting] Why?
Jarrod : [shoots Nancy a look before continuing] Now we're all here, I'd just like to say that I'm really happy that we're all together under the same roof. It's always great to come home. And I'd also like to say that this Saturday I will be having a scheduled fight with Eric Elisi, the Samoan.
Nancy : Oh, yeah. He used to beat you up.
Mason : And me.
Jarrod : [points at Mason] Yeah, and him. He was the toughest guy at our school. He used to pick on quite a few people, actually. Anyway, you're all invited to attend, it'd be great to see you there. Thank you.
[sits]
Zane : Why are you fighting him, Uncle?
Jarrod : [stands again] Well Zane, basically, I'm gonna restore honour to the family name. To your family name.
[sits]
Zane : My family name's Davis. Eh, Dad?
Doug Davis : Yep. Dangerous Davis, back in the day.
Nancy : Yeah, I'm a Davis too.
Jarrod : [exasperated] Yeah well it doesn't matter, does it? We're family. That's what matters.
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Lily : Do you want the big fries?
Jarrod : No.
Lily : It's free. I'll give them to you. The big size. Free. You'll save a dollar fifty. Free.
Jarrod : Um, ok.
Lily : Do you want cheese on your burger?
Jarrod : No, thanks.
Lily : It's free, too. I'll give it to you. You'll save sixty cents.
Jarrod : No, thanks.
Lily : Why? It's free cheese.
Jarrod : Can't eat cheese.
Lily : Oh, ok. No cheese.
