Fanboys (2009)
Christopher Rodriguez Marquette: Linus
Photos
Quotes
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Admiral Seasholtz : Okay. Hilarious, everyone. Looks like we got more Lucas hounds here to mock Roddenberry. Congratulations, gentleman, but I would like to see your Darth Vader take on one Borg drone. And we'll see who's laughing then. Am I right?
Windows : Darth Vader can put the entire Borg collective in a vice grip with his mind.
Admiral Seasholtz : Uh, Darth Vader has asthma, so name me one Star Trek character with a respiratory disease, 'cause I'm drawing a blank.
Linus : Name me one Star Wars character who's gay.
Hutch : Beside's you.
Admiral Seasholtz : Well, no one's gay in Star Trek, so why would I even do that?
Linus : Captain Picard.
Admiral Seasholtz : Okay. Captain Picard is not gay. He's British.
Windows : [in a swishy voice] Come on. "Make it so!"
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Linus : [Shatner has given them the access codes to Skywalker Ranch] How did you score all of this?
William Shatner : Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner; I can score anything.
Eric : How about Jeri Ryan's panties?
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Windows : I met her in a Jedi chatroom. The woman is perfect. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp.
Linus : Who's also got a man package and a goatee.
Windows : You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo.
Hutch : Tell 'em how you described yourself.
Windows : I was perfectly honest with her.
Linus : You said you look like a white Billy Dee Williams. You called yourself white chocolate.
Windows : I *am* white chocolate.
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Linus : I was wondering what did Sulu find in Captain Kirk's lavatory.
Admiral Seasholtz : Sulu clearly found a standard issue Starfleet Z23 personal refuse device.
Linus : I believe it was the Captain's log.
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Hutch : I'm telling you, man. I took that Vulcan down hard. I rolled him into the dirt like he was my frickin tauntaun.
Eric : Tauntaun, my ass. If it wasn't for me, you guys would all be dead.
Windows : What fight were you watching? I was channeling the emperor.
Linus : The emperor? I don't remember the emperor crapping his robe and screaming "time-out."
Eric : Oh, my God. That's right.
Windows : There is such a thing as time-out.
Hutch : [imitating The Emperor] I can feel your anger growing inside. Wait. Time-out.
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The Chief : The Chief fixed it while you boys were asleep.
Eric : The Chief fixed it. Is he around? Can we thank him?
Linus : He's the Chief. You're the Chief, aren't you? Why didn't you say so?
The Chief : The Chief likes to refer to himself in the third person. It causes confusion, especially with the bitches.
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Eric : Linus. Hey, stop walking. Linus! Hold up, man! Stop. What the hell, man? I did nothing to you.
Linus : Exactly. You did nothing. Absolutely nothing. Eric Bottler graduates high school and never looks back. You bailed on our plan, Bottler!
Eric : What plan? To be the next big thing in comics? Come on, man. That was never gonna happen. I did what I had to do, dude. I grew up. I'm the only one who did. Look at you guys.
Linus : You know, you could fool anybody with this cheap suit, salesman-of-the-year pitch. But I know you better than anybody and deep down, you are one miserable son of a bitch.
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Linus : [yelling at Eric as he drives off] They were siblings. They were siblings, you sick bastard!
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Linus : We have to strip to Menudo?
Thick-Necked Thug : You got a problem with Menudo? Now, take it off!
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Linus : Who's up for Texas, boys?
