Scoop (2006)
Scarlett Johansson: Sondra Pransky
Photos
Quotes
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Sondra Pransky : You are a cynical crapehanger who always see the glass half-empty!
Sid Waterman : No, you're wrong. I see the glass half full, but of poison.
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Sondra Pransky : I wouldn't be surprised if he asked me to marry him someday.
Sid Waterman : You come from an orthodox family, would they accept a serial killer?
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Sondra Pransky : Look, I can't just go up to him and say, "Hi, how are you?" I mean, it would make him suspicious. So, you know - anything - he gets... put off or...
Sid Waterman : Drown!
Sondra Pransky : What?
Sid Waterman : Drown! Drown! I'll go get co-, I'll go get co...
Sondra Pransky : [shakes her head] Ach...
Sid Waterman : Listen to me! I'll go get coffee, you get a cramp. Go into the water, flounder around, you know...
Sondra Pransky : [sighs] Ahh...
Sid Waterman : Yes! Go ahead, sweetheart. That's, that's a great idea. He'll oblige to save you that way and if he doesn't, you know, then I'll notify your parents.
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Sid Waterman : We need to put our heads together.
Sondra Pransky : If you put OUR heads together, you'll hear a hollow noise.
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Sondra Pransky : Why don't you think about this as adding some excitement to your life?
Sid Waterman : Sweeheart, excitement in my life is dinner without heartburn after it.
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Sid Waterman : Did you accomplish anything besides a possible pregnancy?
Sondra Pransky : I'll tell you what I did see: his mother, Lady Eleanor, has short-cut, brunette hair.
Sid Waterman : [stuttering] Yeah, but not a hooker?
Sondra Pransky : [shocked pause] No, Sidney, she's not a hooker! I hardly think so. She's practically royalty. Christ, you amaze me sometimes. Your brain!
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Peter Lyman : [about Sondra] It's just so ironic. Because the way I first met her, I rescued her from drowning in our club pool, and she was a very, very weak swimmer.
Sondra Pransky : Hello?
[Peter turns and stares as Sondra comes into the room]
Sondra Pransky : I was faking at the pool to get your attention. Actually, I used to be captain of the Brooklyn Community swim team.
[she smiles]
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Sid Waterman : You're the daughter I never had.
Sondra Pransky : [touched] Oh, Sidney...
Sid Waterman : No, no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Cause I never wanted to have kids. I didn't because you have kids... what is it? You know you're nice to them... you bring them up... you suffer... y-you take care of them... and then they grow up and... and... and they accuse... uh... you of having Alzheimer's.
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Sondra Pransky : Dad, I need to talk to you. Right now.
[serious]
Sid Waterman : Right now, sweetie? I was just about to pull some quarters out of Mrs. Quincy's nose!
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Joe Strombel : This'll be the biggest story to hit London since Jack the Ripper.
Sondra Pransky : Jack the Ripper. Is that capitalized?
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Sondra Pransky : How can we meet him?
Sid Waterman : You know, I don't know... They have a class system. He's an aristocrat and, you know, we're... we're commoners. In fact according to his system, we're... I think we're probably classified as scum.
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Sondra Pransky : What are you putting in your metamucil?
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Sid Waterman : Not everything in this world is sinister... just practically everything.
Sondra Pransky : Ugh... the Indian food made me sick.
Sid Waterman : What? You barely touched your cobra salad, how can you be sick?
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Peter Lyman : What's wrong? Are you crying?
Sondra Pransky : No, I'm too tough to cry. My nasal passages do get congested when I'm sad, though.
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Peter Lyman : I just can't get the vision of you in your swimsuit out of my head.
Sondra Pransky : Oh I'm glad you liked it! It was marked down!
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Sondra Pransky : Do you have a family?
Sid Waterman : I had a wife but sh... she dumped me if you can believe that.
Sondra Pransky : Somehow...
Sid Waterman : She thought I was immature and that I never grew up... I had a great rebuttal for her, I coulda nailed her, you know, but uh... I raised my hand, she would *not* call on me.
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Sondra Pransky : Why would Peter kill a prostitute?
Sid Waterman : Because it looks bad on his resume!
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Sondra Pransky : He asked me to go dancing with him.
Sid Waterman : That's perfect strategy. You worm your way in like a rodent or a roach, and as the crumbs fall off the table, you collect them and we analyze them.
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Sondra Pransky : [Speaking of Strombel] Look, the spirit appeared next to me. at first I thought he was one of your stooges.
Sid Waterman : I don't work with stooges. You know, because you gotta pay them health benefits.
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Sid Waterman : Maybe he's got another woman on the side, and he likes you, but he's sexually attracted to her.
Sondra Pransky : Thanks, Sidney!
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[From trailer]
Sondra Pransky : This guy is a serial killer! He could just kill at any moment!
Sid Waterman : Yeah, I heard that part. That's when I knew I was gonna make other plans.
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[From trailer]
Sondra Pransky : What are you going to tell the police? "The guy owns a deck of tarot cards... " that's not a crime!
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Sid Waterman : You're a pretty girl. You know, I think you could probably get this guy to get interested in you.
Sondra Pransky : Oh, you're silly...
Sid Waterman : Yeah, particularly if he's got a twisted mind.
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Sondra Pransky : [to Sid] Stop telling people I sprang from your loins!
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Peter Lyman : You take after your father.
Sondra Pransky : [sarcastically] Great.
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Sondra Pransky : [Peter told them he'd be out of town but then they spotted him across the street] I just can't believe he lied to me!
Sid Waterman : Maybe he's just doing something he's ashamed of, like maybe he belongs to these clubs where he dresses up as a crossdresser, or maybe he does folk dancing!
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Sid Waterman : What about Indian food, do you like spicy food?
Sondra Pransky : No, no, it's OK, I don't have that much of an appetite.
Sid Waterman : But you will, when they bring out the prawns in hydrochloric acid...
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Sondra Pransky : I think it's time that we show my story to a real journalist.
Sid Waterman : What do you mean, a real journalist?
Sondra Pransky : One that's living.
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Desk Clerk : Peter Lyman. Yes, came in a few minutes ago.
Sid Waterman : What color bathing suit does he have on?
Sondra Pransky : Hey, what...?
Sid Waterman : I - do you want me clash with him?
[scoffs]
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Sid Waterman : [at Peter Lyman's garden party] Should we hit the buffet table first, though? Because the stuff looks great.
Sondra Pransky : No, Dad! Remember, we wanted to look around.
Sid Waterman : Yes, of course, of course, blessed offspring.
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Sid Waterman : Where are you from, Sondra? No, no, no. Don't tell me; because, I got a great ear for that kind of thing. Eh, Alabama? Am I right.
Sondra Pransky : Close. I'm from Brooklyn.
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Sondra Pransky : The point is, I didn't get the story! If I'd used my feminine wiles, like Katherine Hepburn or Rosalind Russell.
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Sondra Pransky : Don't tickle me.
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Sondra Pransky : I can't wear contacts. I don't like to put my finger on my eyeball.
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Peter Lyman : You have a very sensual quality. It's - but I'm sure you've been told that.
Sondra Pransky : Wow. You work really fast.
Peter Lyman : Oh, God. Am I overbearingly aggressive? I'll stop.
Sondra Pransky : Oh, no, don't! You just were getting warmed up.
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Sondra Pransky : Get out of my life! I'm not cut out for this. I should be flossing molars for a living.
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Vivian : Who's Jade Spence?
Sondra Pransky : A would-be investigative reporter who has fallen in love with the object of her investigation.
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Sondra Pransky : I slept with him and I didn't even get the interview. I mean what kind of reporter am I?
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Joe Strombel : You're a journalist, right?
Sondra Pransky : Oh, my God. What are you doing in here?
Joe Strombel : Aren't you a journalist? Yeah? I mean, those are the vibrations I've been concentrating on.
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Sondra Pransky : This is a big story. No kidding. That's what Joe Strombel said. That's why he's returned. You know, this is his last big scoop.
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Sid Waterman : No, darling, I do not think it's a good idea.
Sondra Pransky : It's a very good idea!
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Peter Lyman : That was as great as I imagined it would be. You look beautiful. And pensive.
Sondra Pransky : No, not pensive. Just confused.
Peter Lyman : Women after lovemaking, it's always so complicated.
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Sondra Pransky : The truth is, I'm crazy about the guy. I can't keep obsessing over tantalizing conspiracy theories!