Hoodwinked! (2005)
Anthony Anderson: Detective Bill Stork
Photos
Quotes
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Nicky Flippers : [preparing to question Red, whose hands are still in cuffs] What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists can slip right out. How about a cage?
Det. Bill Stork : [on radio, eager] Bring in the cage!
Nicky Flippers : I was being sarcastic.
Det. Bill Stork : [resigned, into radio] Sarcasm. Strike the cage...
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Chief Grizzly : [referring about the Woodsman] This guy's a loon.
Det. Bill Stork : Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.
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Chief Grizzly : This looks pretty open and shut. Little miss rosy-capes making covert deliveries to the goodie-tycoon. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then crazy flannel-pants with the axe here busts in, swinging vigilante-style. Take 'em downtown boys!
Det. Bill Stork : Ah, it's the woods chief, we don't have a downtown.
Chief Grizzly : You know what I mean! Just book'em!
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Granny : [Granny has just revealed that she is an extreme sports athlete] Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
Red Puckett : I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the Bandit?
[beat]
Det. Bill Stork : Awkward!
[awkwardly side slips his way out of the room]
Granny : You're being ridiculous, Red.
Red Puckett : *I'm* being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?
Tommy : I, have a...
Nicky Flippers : Coffee break, anyone?
Chief Grizzly : Uh, yeah.
Det. Bill Stork : Whose got my keys?
Raccoon Jerry : You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?
Chief Grizzly : Excuse us.
[Everyone except Red and Granny files out of the room]
Granny : I thought you were happy.
Red Puckett : Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?
Granny : Of course you do. You're a Puckett.
Red Puckett : [sighs] I don't know what that means anymore.
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Det. Bill Stork : What is it boy? Truck! Trouble at the mill! Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well!
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Nicky Flippers : I wanna know more about this fellow with the axe. How does he fit into all this?
Det. Bill Stork : Maybe you should AXE him yourself! Ha ha ha ha haaa ha haaa! You-haha-see haa ha haaa! Axe-haaa ha ha! He he hee...
Chief Grizzly : [Stares blankly at Bill]
Det. Bill Stork : [glumly] I'll bring him in.