Role Models (2008)
Paul Rudd: Danny
Photos
Quotes
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Barista : Good morning! Can I take your order?
Beth : Can I get a tall chai?
Danny : And a large black coffee.
Barista : A what?
Danny : Large black coffee.
Barista : Do you mean a venti?
Danny : No, I mean a large.
Beth : He means a venti. Yeah, the biggest one you've got.
Barista : Venti means large.
Danny : No. Venti means "twenty".
Beth : Danny...
Danny : Yeah. "Large" is large. In fact, "tall" is large, and "grande" is Spanish for large. "Venti" is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. Congratulations! You're stupid in three languages.
Barista : Look, dick... venti is a large coffee.
Danny : Oh, really? Says who, Fellini?
Beth : [quickly reaches for her wallet] How much is that? Here's a ten.
Danny : Do you, uh, accept lire? Or is it all Euros now?
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[from trailer]
Ronnie Shields : Suck it, "Reindeer Games"!
Danny : I'm not Ben Affleck.
Ronnie Shields : You white, then you Ben Affleck.
Wheeler : You *are* white.
Danny : That's true, I am white.
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Gayle Sweeny : You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine.
Wheeler : What did you have for dinner?
Danny : Was it cocaine?
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Danny : No, I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.
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Danny : I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he'd cum in his pants.
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Danny : Pick us up in two hours.
Ronnie Shields : Fuck you, Miss Daisy.
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Gayle Sweeny : Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit?
Wheeler : In what way are we full of shit?
Danny : Which one of us has the Ph.D?
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Danny : God dammit Ronnie!
Ronnie Shields : What? Because I'm black you think I did it?
Danny : No, because you did it is why I think you did it.
[Ronnie jumps on tent pole]
Danny : Let me tell you something, I am not your big, but I'll hit you. I will hit a child. I've never done that before, but I will punch you in the face.
Ronnie Shields : Let's dance, Ben Affleck!
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Gayle Sweeny : I know why you are here, so don't BS a BSer, Ok? Your "Presence" here, court ordered.
Danny : Why did you put presence in quotes? Are you implying that we aren't here?
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Augie Farks : Naysayers tell me "You should be embarrassed." "You should not be fighting." "You look like Marvin Hamlisch." You know what I say to the naysayers? I say "Nay! I am not embarrassed." "I will fight." "Who the hell is Marvin Hamlisch?"
Danny : He wrote the music for The Sting.
Wheeler : That's a good movie.
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Danny : [on the phone] I'd love to see you... and your whispering eye. Alright. Bye.
[to Augie]
Danny : Whispering eye?
Augie Farks : It means vagina.
[laughing]
Augie Farks : It means vagina.
Danny : Classy move, man.
Augie Farks : It means vagina.
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Danny : Man, why do you bow for that guy?
Augie Farks : Because he's the king, and he rules the entire realm.
Danny : Oh he rules the entire realm? Oh my bad.
Danny : Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?
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Ronnie Shields : We are butt suck, chipmunk ass butt! We got ass butt, oh yo ass butt!
Wheeler : Come sit on, sit down! Please! Danny?
Danny : I like Ronnie's version better. I like how it invokes the concept of "ass" and "butt".
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Danny : Where am I going to find a girl who hates all the same things I do?
Beth : You're so romantic.
Danny : Hey. Hey... You complete me... You had me at hello.
Beth : Oh, god. Danny you're not hearing what I'm saying to you.
Danny : I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy telling her that... to... love her.
Beth : You don't even know that one.
Danny : Hey, come on. Who are you going to call... Ghostbusters.
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Danny : [while urinating neon green liquid] Jeez, it's like Shrek's piss.
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Danny : I'm in a rut, we're in a rut. Let's shake things up. I have an idea, let's get married! I don't have a ring...
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Danny : Do you like coke?
Augie Farks : I like the idea of it more than I actually like it.
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Augie Farks : Would you like to come in and see my turtle?
Danny : I'm fine.
Ronnie Shields : Of course he has turtle.
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Danny : It's not you, I hate having dinner with people.
