Superhero Movie (2008)

Ryan Hansen: Lance Landers

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lance Landers : [to Rick]  Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit.

• [Rick, Aunt Lucille, Jill, Lou and Lance are sitting down for their Thanksgiving dinner] 

  Lou Landers : [Lou looks at Rick's arm and sees a cut on it]  What happened to your arm?

  Rick Riker : Uh... A bike messenger knocked me down.

  Rick Riker : I see your wrist is bandaged.

  Lou Landers : Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee.

  Lou Landers : And you have a cut on your lip.

  Rick Riker : Uh... My crack pipe broke.

  Rick Riker : You have a scratch on your neck.

  Lou Landers : Yes, I met a girl on Craig's List.

  Lou Landers : And you have a bruise on your neck.

  Rick Riker : I met a guy on Craig's List.

  Lou Landers : I'm sorry Lance, but we have to go.

  Lance Landers : Why?

  Lou Landers : I... shot my pants.

  [Everyone looks at Lou in total shock] 

  Lance Landers : I'll drive.

• Lou Landers : What happened to your arm?

  Rick Riker : Oh. Um, a bike messenger knocked me down. I see your wrist is bandaged.

  Lou Landers : Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee, and you have a cut on your lip.

  Rick Riker : Um... my crack pipe broke. You have a scratch on your neck.

  Lou Landers : Yes, I, um... met a girl on Craigslist. And you have a bruise on *your* neck.

  Rick Riker : I... met a *guy* on Craigslist.

  Lou Landers : Sorry, Lance. We have to go.

  Lance Landers : Why?

  Lou Landers : I... shat my pants.

  Lance Landers : I'll drive.