Clerks II (2006)

Zak Knutson: Sexy Stud

Photos 

Quotes 

• Randal Graves : [Dante, Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, Elias and the Sexy Stud have been taken to a holding cell]  Jail cell design hasn't changed much in centuries, has it? Maybe it's time they brought in the laser bars, or something.

  Jay : Oh, they can make a hard plastic cage like Magneto's in X-Men 2! Nauw.

  Randal Graves : Come on, dude, let's keep it in the real world, alright? But you know what wouldn't be a bad idea? Carbonite.

  [Silent Bob points and nods in agreement] 

  Randal Graves : What do you think, Dante?

  Dante Hicks : [Dante looks up and glares at him, then charges at Randal, slamming him into the bars]  I think I'm gonna kill you!

  Jay : What up, steel cage match!

  Dante Hicks : You ruined my life!

  Randal Graves : Your life was already ruined!

  [shoves Dante away] 

  Randal Graves : Jesus!

  Dante Hicks : What were you thinking? A fuckin' Donkey show?

  Randal Graves : It was your going away present!

  Dante Hicks : [sarcastic]  Sure was! I never thought I'd be going away to prison!

  Sexy Stud : Boys? You can't be imprisoned for watching an inter-species sex act. You'll walk. The worst I'll get is a huge fine for animal abuse, and alot of disgusted looks from ass-wipe conservatives who can't appreciate sexual exploration. Hey!

  [as he drops into his seat in the jail cell, sighing sadly as he leans back against the bars] 

  Sexy Stud : I miss my donkey.

  Dante Hicks : I can't believe you. I finally get my shit together. I'm hours from getting outta here, and really starting my life, and you somehow figure out a way to obliterate all that and reduce me to a convict

  Randal Graves : Oh yeah, it's my fault that your life's so fucked up! I'm the engaged guy who knocked up my boss!

  Jay : You knocked up the guy that owns Mooby's? Ew!

  Randal Graves : [chuckles, and then incredulous]  What?

  Dante Hicks : [at Jay]  Would you shut up?

• Sexy Stud : [as the cops pull up]  Oh, shit! Not again! Gotta finish!

• Sexy Stud : So, where're we doin' this thing?

  Randal Graves : Oh, right inside the restaurant.

  Sexy Stud : You're kidding.

  Randal Graves : Not spacious enough?

  Sexy Stud : No, it's plenty spacious, just kinda weird, isn't it?

  Randal Graves : Kinda weird? You're in the bestiality business, dude.

  Sexy Stud : Hey, Fucko, we like to call it inter-species erotica.

  Randal Graves : Intriguing.

• Sexy Stud : Ooh, cake!

• Randal Graves : Yo, Freddy fucking Mercury! Where's Kelly?

  Sexy Stud : [pointing at the donkey]  Right here!

  Randal Graves : I thought that's the sexy stud.

  Sexy Stud : *I'm* the sexy stud.

  Randal Graves : But this donkey is a dude!

  Sexy Stud : Kelly can be a guy's name too. Hey!

  [Randal shrugs and sits down] 

• Sexy Stud : When it's over, if you want, you can fuck Kelly.

  Randal Graves : Really? Sweet!

  Sexy Stud : Yeah.

• Sexy Stud : [as he drops into his seat in the jail cell, sighing sadly as he leans back against the bars]  I miss my donkey.