The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

Carlos Mencia: Tito

Photos 

Quotes 

• Eddie Cantrow : Hey, uh, do you think you could tell me where I could find Uncle Tito?

  Tito : Yes. Uh, may I ask who's inquiring?

  Eddie Cantrow : Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow and I'm a friend of a friend of his. I'm supposed to give him something.

  Tito : I'm sorry to tell you this, but he no longer works here. He's actually in jail, serving six to ten years. He was caught having cock-fights. And I'm not speaking about the kind of rooster.

  Eddie Cantrow : Oh.

  Tito : Screw off! I'm joking, man! C'mon! I am Uncle Tito.

• [repeated line] 

  Tito : Screw off! I'm joking, man!

• Tito : Eddie, What are you doing?

  Eddie Cantrow : I'm just hanging with my brother, My brother Manuel.

  Tito : Eddie, People are looking for you ah! Your father keeps calling, And The Mac is trying to track you down. And what I supposed to tell the American girl... The... Miranda? What do I tell her?

  Eddie Cantrow : Miranda?

  Tito : Yes, Her family flew home, But she didn't! And she's been everywhere searching for you!

  Eddie Cantrow : [With a smile]  She Has?

  Tito : [laughing]  Screw off! I'm joking man! That chick run for the hills! You should seen your face! You were so happy for a moment, You were like ha! I can't believe I got you again!

• Eddie Cantrow : Hey. Listen, Tito, I need you to do me a big, big favor.

  Tito : 300 pesos.

  Eddie Cantrow : You don't even know what it is yet.

  Tito : It is something nasty, or you would be doing it yourself.

  Eddie Cantrow : All right, fine.